Movie Review: The Hurt Locker

This is a really good movie that surprisingly has not received much fanfare. It is a fascinating story about a bomb disposal specialist in Iraq. His daily job is to defuse live bombs and he does it with an approach of a mechanic with a tool kit repairing BMWs and what not. The nice aspect of the movie is that it shows him to be this cavalier "redneck" reckless person who goes out of the way to defuse bombs (like it were his hobby) but still keeps the movie real with no show of heroism whatsoever. Actor Jeremy Renner plays this role with peculiar blend of geekish intensity and carefreeness. When he is disposing bombs he is a geek totally focused on the wires and the mechanics of the bombs. He seems to intuitively think like a bomber and feel around for traps and secondary devices.

This activity is more like a high intensity game to him. He does not treat it like a war where his life is in danger. Its almost as if his life/sanity would be in danger if it were not for the war and his job. An interesting counterfoil is his squad leader Sanborn, who is continually frustrated by James' recklessness and complete lack of awareness of rules, roles and responsibilities. The movie centers around 4-5 events surrounding 3-4 characters. Its shot in a grainy way with what seems like a handicam. You get to see the action as a participant of the proceedings. As if a camera was attached to Sanborn or one of his squad members. The suspense that is built up in the beginning sort of sustains till the end and keeps you at the edge of your seat.

Confession

I am not a Harry Potter fan. I have labored through and seen all the movies they released.

Underwhelming.

I don't think I have lost the child in me. I won't criticise the concept. It is probably not for all. Its simply that this piece of fiction did not capture my imagination. In my defense I'll say that I tried hard to like it. But I was constantly left wondering what people really saw in this series. Initially, I thought I didn't like it because this got released in parallel with LOTR and so this looked so-so in comparison. But now I think the series has become genuinely boring for me. The books are unreadable too.

I am God

So please give respect and take respect.

Inglourious Basterds & Sherlock Holmes

Two awesome directors are due to release movies this year.

Tarantino's Next:



Guy Ritchie's Next:

On Challenges

Best Of Michael III

5. The Way You Make Me Feel

The rarely shown full version is embedded below. This is one of the coolest songs composed by Michael. In the late 80s when stereo (as opposed to mono) systems was a rare thing, the beginning of the song would knock you out. The first beat would be heard on both speakers and then the quick beats that lead to the base drums would be heard alternatively on the left and right speakers. He apparently composed this song at the request of his mother to to have a "shuffling" kind of song. It become the ultimate woo-the-girl category song with finger snapping becoming a well-imitated mannerism. The 'thumbs up' that the old man does was an impromptu thing, which the crew liked and so kept it.




The (really hot) version with Britney Spears





4. They Don't really care about Us

This is the best song from the HIStory album. The unique drums segment of this song will probably be the most unforgettable aspect of his music. The rhythm of the song is very basic but the sheer force of Michael's singing and the vehemence shown in the lyrics raises the song up a notch. Spike Lee directed 2 videos for the song. This was the first ever time Michael decided to do two videos for a song. The edginess and pace that this song had made both videos look powerful. Strangely the initial lyrics of the song became highly controversial "jew me sew me...kick me, kike me" were considered anti-Semitic by NY Times. The first video was shot in Shantytown, Rio inspite of state authorities trying to stop the production. It used a local band called Olodum who became world famous as a result of the video. The second video was shot in a prison with images of KKK and Nazis. Sadly, this song featured Michael's last ever video image. A rehearsal video of him for the 'This is it' tour shows him dancing to this song.

Official Video shot in Brazil



Banned Video Shot in Prison





Rehearsal video 48 hours before his death




3. Smooth Criminal

This is in many ways the ultimate Jackson song. It is by far the best song in Bad and many would consider to be his best song ever. Most people became hooked as MJ fans because of this song. Every aspect of the song is simply incredible. Originally composed in 1985 as an inspiration from Fred Astaire's "The Girl Hunt Ballet" the song was called 'Al Capone'. Then this last minute addition (can you believe it?) to the Album Bad was renamed Smooth Criminal. It has a fantastic drums rhythm coupled with a mesmerising trademark bass guitar that makes you get up and dance. It talks about a woman called Annie who is attacked by a criminal. The Video and stage performance of this song is creativity beyond imagination. With trademark White Suit, Jackson created a couple of dance steps and went on to patent the more popular of the two dance steps. My personal favorite is the complicated revolution that he does at 7:25 minutes in the video below.

The Anti-gravity Lean: However, what totally captured public imagination was the anti-gravity lean. Choreographed by Jeff Daniel, they performed this seemingly impossible lean (see 7:20 in video below) using wires/magnets and clever camera angles. But the creativity they showed to do it on stage led to US Patent #5,255,452. The stage is built to have pegs protrude from it at the correct time. The dancers have special shoes with holes in the ankles that would slide and lock to those pegs. The dancers would lean forward magically with the support of the peg.

The Video From the Movie MoonWalker.

Contains new lyrics and a different drums arrangement (especially the one when the song starts)




Live Version



2. Who Is it?

Dangerous is Michael's best and creatively the most complete album ever. 'Who is it' is the best song in that album. My god. If I had a buck for every time I listened to this song I'd be a billionaire. The cover of Dangerous is unforgettable to any MJ fan. It shows eyes from inside a armor like helmet with a strand of hair falling out and then a million little details surrounding it. This is such an awesome song that I'd do injustice to it simply by trying to describe it. It is a criminal injustice that this song was not treated with the respect it deserves. It should been among the first two videos MJ did for Dangerous. Instead he does a off-hand acapella of this song in Oprah (Video below) and it becomes so popular that Sony finally gets to see what dumb asses they were to not release this earlier. The way he does those beats with his mouth was simply brilliant. For a while I couldn't even track how his lips were moving while he did this. And he apologizes for that performance to Oprah. Imagine his standards.

The song is about betrayal and pathos. The lyrics are probably the best among MJ's songs. The special curves he does to the voice he does when he sings "i am the agony inside the dying head" are all mighty little things he pours to make this song a great one. Hiccup songs are always special. This one starts with a 'aahh' female choir and then the drums arrangement sort of erupts powerfully. The beginning beat of the song is so deep that you cannot stop noticing te suddenness of it. You want it to last for eternity and then he starts his magical hiccup and "I gave my money..".

And who directs the video - none other than my favorite David Fincher. The video is about Michael's girl friend who also lives a double life as a high class escort call-girl. He sees her visiting card 'Alex' and the tracks all her visits to clients. Until finally he lets her know her game is up. The video is shot in classy lighting seemingly in a city with Gothic buildings. The whole set up is very high-class and Michael is shown to be a billionaire. The way the visiting card rolls up and stands on the hand is very classy. I can go on.. but it just makes me more sad that such a song will never again come out.

Michael sings acapella to Oprah




Official Video Directed by Fincher




1. Beat It

Eddie Van Halen's guitar, MJ's silver voice, super cool lyrics, gangster theme combine to create Thriller's best song. It ranks higher than 'Who is it' purely because its stayed with me for longer. The unqiue phrase "beat it" ( Made Indians wonder what it was) was strange to me when I first listened to it. If you lived in the 80s ad listened to beat it for the first time, you were hooked on to what was referred to in India as "western music". Jackson wanted to do a rock song and called upon Eddie Van Halen to do a guitar solo. Eddie Van Halen did this solo for free of charge. I feel in love with the song purely for the speed at which it was sung. The bell like sounds and the knock you can here when the guitar begins (rumored to be a recording mistake by Van Halen knocking his guitar while playing it) are enduring sounds that you remember from the Panasonic 543 tape recorder/player era. The video used real life gangsters and Broadway performers.




Post Script: I never believed the allegations against him. I still don't. The fact that people who I think are idiots believe otherwise have convinced me even further. The judge said - 'Not Guilty'. That is the verdict and people should just shut up about it. Part of media's negative attitude against MJ was his own fault but a majority of it was a result of pure evil. The idiots who couldn't appreciate his music resorted to what they did best - gossip.

In closing - writing these posts made me relive the childhood days spent listening to his songs. It has been a while since I listened to his songs. I revisited myMJ scrapbook, where for 10 years I had collected clippings of most MJ stories that had appeared in print in India. Brought back memories. Sadly those days, like him, are dead and would never come back. It is a sad reminder of the unrelenting forward march of time where people whom you think will live forever ultimately do die in the strangest of circumstances.

Best Of Michael II

10. 2000 Watts

This is the best song in the album Invicible. It has a kind of a space age rhythm that is literally out of the world. When this song is playing it is absolutely hard not to dance. Total adrenalin pumper. A collaboration between MJ & Tyrese gibson, it was slated to appear in Tyrese's album but MJ released it in Invincible.



09. Dirty Diana

This was Michael's guitar song of Bad. Billy Idol's former guitarist Steve Stevens was the guitarist here and he starts and ends the song with the same low note. This was a song about groupies who offered themselves to rock stars at backstage. Speculation was rife that this song may have been about Diana Ross but it caused MJ embarrassment when he found out that "Princess" Diana would be attending his Bad Live concert in Wembley stadium (which is probably the stadium that has seen MJ's best live concerts). He removed the song from the schedule (however Diana let him know that 'Dirty Diana' was her personal favorite in Bad). This is a high quality song with Michael singing in a higher octave through out. The lady who is shown walking is actually Sheryl Crow who started off as backup voice in MJ's tour.



08. In The Closet

I am not sure if I love the video more or the song. It is a poster boy song for the new trend of "New Jack Swing" songs that producer Teddy Riley was creating which mixed R&B and Soul. It has MJ singing in a very sensual voice. Originally, Madonna was scheduled to sing this duet with Michael and they had a fall-out leading to her voice getting pulled off from this song (getting replaced with "Mystery Girl" princess of Monaco). Although the song's name suggests about "sexual orientation" being kept in the closet, the lyrics talk about MJ's secret relationship with a woman. The video is an amazing piece of work. Shot in bright light with rapid edits and cuts, this video probably has the best camera work I have seen in a music video ever. It shows people in angles that are unique. The breaks/moves that Michael does when he dances are freaking hard to do and he makes it look so easy. The silhouette moves he does when he opens the door is so cool. For years after this video was released every time I walked past a door with a white cut-banian and black jeans I'd do all the poses at the door until my mom got tired of my madness. There is a small sequence in the video that is not there in the CD. These small things made it look even more good.



7. Get On the Floor

So this is my most favorite song from "Off The Wall". This is a perfect meld between disco and pop that is sort of a handshake between the 70s and the 80s. The song doesn't request you to dance but compels you.



6. Speed Demon

It is one of the coolest song from bad that sadly went unnoticed. With a unique beat and characteristic bass guitar it talks about a high speed chase and escape situation. It is such a peppy song that I wasn't surprised to see the video turn out so good. The video featured in the movie Moonwalker. The song begins with a bike roaring off and after every beat set MJ would hiccup "chok". The song would then morph into a totally different tune when "speed demon you are the very same one" line occurs and it goes to a peculiar saxophone sequence. Watch the video, it is so nicely done.

Best Of Michael

If I were to build an ultimate MJ album featuring his best songs and at the same time do a MJ top 'N' songs countdown - how would it look like? A 3 post series covering that.

14. Whatever Happens

So I am going to be a bit partial to songs that have splendid guitar work. 'Whatever Happens' features Carlos Santana with a dreamy guitar that makes you feel the whole world has gone slow motion. This is a truly great song about two people in love, struggling in life but dearly hope that no matter what happens they at least have each other. The song starts with a eerie Santana whistle and has Michael using one of his more softer voices without actually breaking into a falsetto. It is a great tragedy that this wasn't released as a single or made into a video (the one below is a fan made video for this song).



13. Give into me

The biggest of em' all Guitarist Slash features in this song. This one is another of Michael's songs that talks about failed love, betrayal and sex. Slash features in several of Michael's songs: Scream, Don Sheldon, Black or White and Give In to me. I thought this song was very different from the kind of songs Michael prefers to include in his album. In the spectrum it is more GNR than MJ. This song has a touch of roughness (almost heavy metal like) to it. Michael uses a more open voice, in fact his screamy/gruffy voice here (and does so for all of his songs featuring Slash). The bell-like drums ending in this song is very classic. The video below is an extended version and has lyrics and segments not released as part of his album version. Again, yet another excellent song from Dangerous that deserved to be recognized more.



12. Come Together

So this is MJ's version of Lennon & Paul McCartney's "Come Together". This song was first featured by MJ in the climax scene of the movie "Moonwalker.". It was included as a "new track" in MJ's HIStory album, albeit with a different tempo than the one he sang for Moonwalker. John Lennon was the guitarist when he sung this song originally. Since then Aerosmith, Eurhythmics, & Tina Turner have redone the song. In MJ's version crazy-wig Jennifer Batten was the guitarist and she starts the song with a powerful note. MJ again sings in a open screamy voice and one can't keep wondering if its the same voice that sings those soulful ballads. Who can forget the lines "Here come ol' flat top He come groovin' up slowly" or "gotta be good lookin' coz its so hard to see"




11. One Day in Your Life:

This is a smooth soft Ballad from Michael's earlier album "Forever, Michael". His 4th and last solo album with Motown Records. His boyish voice suits the song very well. Its a dreamy song and very romantic. if the lower notes he touches are fantastic, some of the higher notes he hits are almost Maria Carey-esque.

Moonwalk

A peep into the mechanics of the Moonwalk dance move and the whole Billie Jean performance. This is probably one of the most meticulously articulated stage song-dance sequence in the entertainment world. It is orchestrated to have the artist precisely move and position himself for a bunch of pre-set camera angles and thereby evoke a sense of 'magic' in the minds of the viewer.

The 'Moonwalk' was originally invented by an artist called 'Casper' (who unimaginatively called it the 'slider'). It later became a worldwide phenomena because MJ executed it (for the first ever time) in the end-closing sequence dance moves of his first ever Billie Jean performance. This happened on 25th March 1983 during the 25th anniversary of Motown. This was staged at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium and called "Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever." The Moonwalk occurs exactly at the same time and in the same way in every Billie Jean performance Michael has done since that one. It is carefully planned to start at a specific beat. It has pre-moonwalk and post-moonwalk moves that go with it. While Michael, over time, has improvised and expanded the Billie Jean performance (the videos below show the improvisations) - the basic structure has remained the same.

Putting on the Hat: The song starts with Michael putting on his hat exactly at the same time the unique multiple layer drums (by the famous Leon Chancler) starts. Then familiar bass guitar/synth is played on top of it and then the chord progressions are created (Sound Engineer Bruce Swedien remixed this 91 times before finally settling on the final version). It is a magical song that he starts creatively. The silence that he creates before putting on his hat is exhilarating. In later performances if Michael is already with his hat ON, then the drums and bass guitar is silenced for a few minutes, only to restart at the exact time he puts it on. The Hat, single-glove, stone studded socks and the jacket are an integral part of the Billie Jean performance.

Pump: After putting his hat on, Michael does - what is called as - the 'pump'. Pump is a simple thrust of the abdomen. The artist is in a bent position and almost looks as if he is watching his crotch thrust out and in.

Swivel: Michael's talent lies in telling the camera men (even if the show is not his) exactly where to position the camera and while dancing he is aware of the various poses he has to strike for those camera angles. If you see all his Billie Jean live performances (Munich 97 and Bucharest especially), camera angles (for viewing in giant screen) totally cranks up the level of his performance. The swivel typically has 3 poses and starts when the drums is accompanied by soft 'shakers'. The first move he does is lift his right leg up, points his finger and toe seemingly towards a person in the orchestra and pauses. This is Pose 1(you can now hear the 'shakers' do a 'chik-chik' sound). Then he swivels and points his right leg to the other side of the stage and points his finger/toe towards someone there. Then he strikes a couple of poses left and right - each with one leg straight and the other leg forming an R shape.

Throw the hat away: Throwing the hat away is done in a very interesting fashion as it almost mimics the onset of a moonwalk. But is a fake. He crosses the legs first and spreads his hand out (I call it the 'no way dude' move) and then he crosses the leg other way to point in the direction he will eventually throw the hat. The way he throws the hat has changed over time. He essentially has two throws: the 'soft throw' that lets him pick it up later and then the inward throw to the crowds. The first throw is always the soft throw. Because he needs the hat for later.

The combing and the start: He never starts singing with the hat on. So after the throw he pretends as if he is taking a comb out, combs his hair and keeps the comb back on his pocket. Don't get distracted by his hands. His legs are striking a pose, which is accentuated by where the cameras are placed. Then he briefly places his hands like a triangle on the crotch and starts singing "she was more like..."

The song: His movements are limited when he is actually singing. The song itself is sung in a mix of falsetto and his regular voice. In this song he introduces a brilliant 'hiccup' way of singing (which he repeats in every other album - 'man in the mirror' and 'who is it' are examples). You can see him do his usual stuff - 'legs sliding towards each other back/forth' and 'hands-in-my-pocket' thing. But he introduces two key moves which he will expand at the closing stages of the song. The 'spin' happens exactly before he sings 'the kid is not my son' (and again before 'do think twice'). He 'spins' and goes into that line. Then he does a bent robot move (which he did till his 'invincible' videos: see video 4 below for that). Here he bends down and moves his hands and face like a robot. This is a common move among African American dancers but he does it with class.

My favorite 'singing move' is when he is really bent down with mike by his side (comes at 2:10 in video 1 below) and sort of does a mini sit-up while singing "on the floor ..". Another favorite moment of mine his jump before singing the chorus "Billie Jean". You haven't seen the moonwalk yet. And he is waiting for the end guitars to start before he shows you that.

The Moonwalk Package (Spin, Moonwalk, Spin, and Toe Stand): The moonwalk package of Billie Jean is stunning for people who have never seen anything like that before. His rhine-stone studded socks and his single glove (it is always one glove when it is Billie Jean) accentuates the slide of the moonwalk. Before the Moonwalk, he shouts a 'hee' (to the left hand side crowd) and 'hoo' (to the right hand side crowd). Crosses his leg to mimic the 'hat throw', bends down and then does a full version of the 'spin'. He then lifts his pants raising them upward, strikes a pose and then begins the slide backwards. The backwards slide apart from giving you massive goose-pimples, almost makes you feel the floor is slippery or fluid. The camera angle makes a significant difference here. The high that you get from watching it done is wonderfully capped by a BIG 'spin' and a toe stand. The toe stand is so difficult that it is almost ridiculous that he even does it. Sometimes he can simply stand on his bent toes for like 3-4 seconds (if he is dancing only with his socks). In the Motown video below he doesn't really get the 'toe stand' right (he said later that he was very nervous about pulling it off) and so quits it soon.

In almost every Billie Jean performance, he does a variation of the Moonwalk after the song ends. Sometimes he Moonwalks sideways (his face front and he moves towards the left - see 3rd video from 7th minute onwards) or does a stop-moonwalk. Where his hand is sort of showing a stop-signal to the front and he moves behind. His stay-in-the-same-place and moonwalk ( 2nd video, minute 6:53) is simply incredible. Blows your mind out.

The End Dance: His Billie Jean performances have changed over time and he began to put a lot of drama in taking out the trade mark single glove, hat and Jacket to whip up the frenzy. This makes your adrenalin pump up like crazy (see the 3rd video beginning). But he also extended the song's ending segment by having a dedicated dance sequence. If you see the second video below, which is his best Billie Jean performance so far: At exactly 6 minute 20 seconds he would reclaim his hat, pretend to clean it up and put on the hat. Then all the lights and other instruments would switch off. Its just drums and a spotlight. Your heart is beating fast not knowing what to expect. Here he would showcase all his newest and best dance moves.

The Robo Revolve/Rotate: This is my most favorite of all his dance moves. He introduced it as part of his Smooth Criminal song sequence in the movie 'Moon Walker' (He had done it once before in 1988 Grammy Awards). Sometimes tears flow if you try to imagine how he really does it. Here, in this move, he stays in a single spot and sort of revolves around himself (see minute 7:30 in Video 3). Its almost as if he splits into two people and one person does a break-dance revolution around the other stand-still person. It looks incredible provided you saw it from the correct camera angle.

Video 1: The Legendary Motown Performance



Video 2: Munich 97 Performance



Video 3: The NewYork performance almost 20 years later.




Video 4: Music Awards

Look at minute 0.50 and 1.12 on his improvised Robot dance.

MJ II

Older Post reviewing his book, life etc.

Michael Jackson

The world you lived in was too stupid to understand you. You are the last super star the world will ever see.

My Boys Can Swim

Pregnancy is 3rd most common symptom of indian marriages. Right after 'thalai deepavali dowry' and 'porn free computers'. Inspite of that there is no clearly defined rule on who can have a baby. Let me tell you this: if there existed a baby world unto itself and if the inhabitant babies ever had an unanimous opinion on who the villain of that world was - that M.N.Nambiar would undoubtedly be me. Bachelors feel smug and superior when they see parents manage crying babies. Especially those who manage crying children on airplanes. Nobody wants to sit next to them. I constantly gave them dirty looks. They were species who had to pack 700 thousand things if they had to leave the house. They couldn't just take their keys and walk out. Every time they left the house, even if it was to see a neighbor down the block, these parents had to carry 6 different bags with them.

As a college going teenager I formed anti-children societies, where we held "dharna-porattams" against children who (a) made lot of noise, (b) cried too much and (c) broke stuff that belonged to others. In the US, desi children are glued to the parents - almost inseparable. Unlike India, parents can't leave these children @ home and go to (a) a movie, (b) a party or (c) to a friend's house. So now you have noisy movie halls and public gatherings with wailing children. I squarely blamed parents when they didn't shut their child's mouth if the noise it made drowned cricket commentary (or) if the parents were oblivious to the fact that their child was trying to tear off my MJ poster. They wouldn't shut the child down but instead hold a conversation with them that went like "no! Akyutesh! please don't do that". You are thinking to yourself "what akyutesh needs is a sound slap". The thing these parents don't get is: Akyutesh is not interested in the conversation. He probably does not understand what the parents are saying anyway.

At one point children could instantly sense my hostility just by being around me. A rumbling tumbling happy baby would stop doing all its gurgling noise in my presence, stare at me for a while and quickly start wailing. They too - like many would-be parents - go through pre-birth trainings with other expectant foetus(es(es)). There they have been trained to sense anti-babyists like me. Given all this - anti-babyists still produce children. For no reason at all. I don't know what brainwashing people go through to move from being a anti-babyist to a procreator. It is like you make fun of old people but go on to become old yourself. Here are a few top N reasons to have a baby that I made up

1. Maybe people want to play god and so stop mid-marriage and say, "you know what? Let us create more human beings."

2. Maybe it is naricissm turned sideways "I need to show love to someone. I have this compelling urge to be selfless. It will look odd if I make cho-chweet remarks to myself and praise myself to the sky. So lets create another human being just like me and love/praise the heck out of him."

3. Maybe its plain selfishness "who will take care of me when I am 90 and senile? Besides, we don't like the people we meet. We really need to be making our own kind of people."

4. Maybe its like getting promoted from 8th standard to 9th standard. You go from bachelor to married and then to fatherhood as a matter of fact.

5. Maybe they want to show off that they are having sex.

Some married couples pretend as if they are considering several hundred options and one teeny-weeny option among that is to have a baby - somewhere down in the future. "I am thinking of whether or not to have a baby" - they say. And they kid us. Statistics tell us that they are going to have a baby at some point in time. However, it is considered good social status if you pretend to ignore it. Some even peethify - "having babies is not my lifestyle ..man". And you are thinking "mudraa vennai" because such peela masters have a baby earlier than others. On the other end of the spectrum some couple do a thing - which my periappa calls - "hit a century before lunch". Those who do that are the butt of all jokes. They are really in soup with their friends. You could have retarded, dumb, comatose friends who cannot add 2 and 3 without a calculator but they still would be capable of doing lightning speed calculation to find out if you had a baby before your first wedding anniversary. Regardless of where people are in the spectrum, somewhere down the line married people have a pause in the conversation and just to break the silence one or the other says

He: "you know what.. we should be a couple with a baby".
She: "you mean ...parents!".
He: "no .. no..no _couples_ the kind who travel a lot and still have fun but also have a 3rd person in the house"
She: "you mean parents.. who travel to grocery stores and pediatric clinics"
He: "no..no no.. that is not it..."

So two people decide to manufacture babies just the way Toyota manufactures cars or the way Intel manufactures micro chips. The good thing going on in human being's favor is that you don't have to write up a project plan, secure funding, commit resources and work for 30 months to manufacture other human beings. Imagine this - if nature's requirement to have a baby was that a man and a woman had to put their hands into a bunch of earth worms, take goo out and put the goo between two metal rods and beat the rod to pulp for 6 months. If that is how we reproduced, humans would have become extinct long ago. The way it is currently arranged - having a baby is very easy for the woman. The woman gets to do the fun part of puking for 9 months, mutating for 9 hours and running behind the younglings for another 20 years. It is, however, slightly difficult for the man. The man has to have sex, which is a terrible thing. Because men hate sex. Its the last thing they want to do. They spend all their teenage years trying to avoid sex. The only reason they agree to have sex for the purposes of procreating is - as my grandma says "edho aanju rendukku pazhuthu illai" - because it is at least better than pulling goo out of earthworms.

LSE Prediction

NYSE:C price will go down dramatically next week. I wouldn't be surprised if it traded between 2.6 - 2.9 next week.

P.S1: I am trying to monetize my LSE super powers.
P.S2: This post caters to popular demand by people I know. They have asked me to publish the stocks I buy (they prefer CNBC does a newsflash on my purchases) so that they can either (a) short it or (b) not buy now but wait for it to go down instead

The Kobayashi Maru Test

So, after last game's heroics I finally got back my opening slot, walked out with this guy to open the batting. Let me tell you - walking out to open the innings with a 19 year old isn't what it used to be 10 years ago. My entire team was looking at him feeling very defensive about their respective ages. A couple of people were deeply hurt that the world was still making 19 year olds. They would say "what.... you are 19" and look around shocked. We probably made him feel that his "youngness" was a sin and a very offensive one at that.

I don't know what happens to a person when they walk out to bat. People tend to be nervous and so out of breath that it almost feels they are walking to the gallows instead of a game of cricket. Walking to the crease with 11 eyes watching you, taking guard, standing and actually being able to spot the ball rushing towards you seems like the most scariest thing in the world. It seems so easy in the nets but a completely different experience in a match. Its like presenting in front of a few people or giving a speech at your school assembly (which is freakin' scary). Opening the innings is probably as tough as it is made out to be. After a few failures one thinks to self that maybe - I am an opener because I want to be a good opener - rather than the more preferred - I am an opener because I am built to be a good opener. One feeds the other but once you start thinking like that it can ruin things a little bit. I have argued both sides on mental ability Vs talent. And this where I think being (relatively) comfortable with fear is a key mental skill that cannot be underestimated in any sphere of life.

Last year I was the new guy in the team, so this South African opening partner (who looked like Hudson with a moustache) asked me to go face the first ball. Now if there is something more scarier than opening the innings - it is facing the first ball. It is the unfortunate new guy or the person who can't say "no" who gets to do that. I do not know if there is any real psychological advantage of being a non-striker and getting to see a few balls being bowled before taking strike. But the perception of such an advantage is powerful and very popular. When I started opening for the very first time I'd insist that I be the non-striker. From last year onwards, I simply asked my partner to pick his preference and then do the other thing. This time however, I selfishly asked poor Niyantha to take first strike and he manfully did the task.

Division B cricket in the US is never a tough division. Most teams have one good bowler and then 3-4 others who can roll their arm over. So if you saw the opening spell off the only person who can get you out was you. And people who could stop their alter-egos from going for cross-batted heave across the line typically did well. Niyantha faced a bowler who was clearly moving the ball away. He pitched at 2/3rds length and it would move away at about shoulder height. The bowler I faced had just one good ball - the attempted "in-swinging" "yorker" at gentle pace. It is made a difficult ball to play only because you are new to the crease, cannot sight the ball and are nervous as hell. The other variation he bowled was the wide ball. With the heart thumping and brain not wanting to focus I was barely seeing the ball and sometimes was relieved that it hit my bat because it happened to travel in the direction where I poked my bat out. Typically teams all over the world have 3 or 4 default sledges that they repeat like a parrot everywhere. They shout "batsman has no clue. no clue at all" or something like "he wants to give his wicket away. let us help him" with the hope that you hear them and get that into your head. It works surprisingly well and that's why people keep saying that again and again.

5th over Niyantha fished outside off and got beaten. The very next ball he was tempted to go for a cover drive, was late and edged to slips. Felt very sorry for him. But he is very talented and am sure he will do well this season. Next over the new batsman faces this in-swinging yorker guy. I pleaded to this batsman that he should not play across the line, which he duly did play and top edged a catch to mid-wicket. Next batter walks-in and is warned by the outgoing batsman and me that the bowler really knows to bowl just one ball and a "non-straight bat" response would mean that he'd hit if we miss. He too plays across to an in-swinging yorker and is LBW first ball. So we are 3 down for 30 or so. The #5 batsman and I shut shop and defend like there is no tomorrow. Over time the ball's visibility gets better and I can actually see it hit my bat. Then comes the 10th over and the last over of the in-swinger's spell. The non-striker and I decide that we are going to ultra-defend until the 15th over. Now I am standing a foot outside the crease to counter the swing. That makes this bowler's delivery a rank full toss. I can't resist. I heave across the line, miss, get hit on the back-foot. LBW. 10 overs of defending comes to a naught.

Lost the opening bowling spot, again, as a result of last week's heroics. We pretty much sucked and gave the game away soon. Niyantha, was our best bowler and as I keep telling him he has an exact replica of Kumara Dharmasena's action. The day ended with a terrible defeat to a team with as vile a name as "Chuck De Oregons".

Lightning Strikes Everyday

For the first time since I started this blog, I thought 'why not mention this blog's birthday?'. When actress 'Jil jil rani' can celeberate the birthday of her 'naikutti' I guess this blog's birthday should be accorded some respect. Its been quite a ride - these 5 years. We've shared some laughs, some controversies, made friends, irritated quite a few people, nakkal adichified everybody you can think of and in general behaved like a 5-year-old (which is very precocious because the blog just turned 5). Looking back it all started on a Friday afternoon on June 11th. I always look back at that phase with some fondness. Things were changing rapidly then. Doing life changing stuff or going after something doesn't happen as often as we think it does. So that time was exciting. I was buried in b-school essays + IIM prep + a few other things. And was caught as a slave in a project that felt like a mental hospital at times. Then I got engaged.

So one afternoon I had a conversation with a colleague that resembled something like this.




A conversation I'd have several times with several different people. I was especially pissed off about the cruelty of the 400 word limit on Harvard essays. I was so freaking bummed with the conciseness requirement of all the b-school essays that my night's sleep was consumed by an infinite loop of dreams where I was optimizing sentences in a 'olai chuvadi'. So the conversation then led to several other opinions about my dissatisfaction with life in general and the disagreements that I had with people who inhabited it. We talked about the general distrust over people who claimed to be "experts" and kept ridiculing one particular guy who smugly kept predicting the future (of the project). "Start a blog. You are PGW fan. Cut and paste shit from his novels" said this colleague. I knew what a blog was and followed some blogs. But I left saying "no dude". My virtual world interaction ended with 'carnatic raagas in film music' or the 'ARR Vs IR' section of tfm forums.

So later that evening I thought about it and in peak 'raahugalam' started this blog. I was tired of 400 word limits, experts, and 'i will tell you how to $1Million in stocks' guides. I wanted a place where I could just run amok. Some people drank alcohol, some smoked cigarettes, some chewed bubble gums and I wrote a blog. It wasn't something I leaned on but it was an excellent distraction from the ridiculousness I had to encounter everyday. So for the first few years the blog was a hiding place where I could write about stuff that had nothing to do with the main thing going on in my life at that time. Later it became a test-bed to try out new pet opinions and theories. Sometimes it served to ventilate. But it wasn't hard to write these posts. I finished most posts in about 20 minutes. Didn't think much about it later. I guess you don't need a lot of time to state the obvious.

5 years have gone by and I still wonder about the title I chose that Friday evening. In case you forgot, I am still thinking about this (many many years before this movie got released mind you). Like when I was all set to submit my Harvard application a few hours before deadline and the internet stopped working once I hit submit - forever. Or like last week where almost a year after the previous attempt, I tried to print out some page recently. It was just two pages, I didn't need them in a hurry and they were unimportant - so I thought the gods would not strike me down for this. 2 hours later it became an ego contest and I had clicked the print out dialog box for the 1000th time. Everybody around me came to the printer, collected their papers and left. It was just disgusting.

How does an odd person communicate an oddity to the outside world - especially if it is to do with little insignificant things? The first time I mentioned all my little idiosyncrasies, fears and doubts to my roommates in TOSU (if Major Major Mohandass was still lurking around he would not find the "what if the plane fell into the ocean but you find yourself alive and unable to swim" or "who will pay for the student loan then" question funny now) they thought I should be put under observation. Maybe they are right. Maybe not. I can tell you the exact day I first began to realized this power of randomness over me. Things that I don't have control over scare me slightly but what scares me the most are (a) things that I think I control but I really don't (never did) (b) Things that are important to my life but I am not even aware it is important (I don't know what I don't know) (c) Things I should be controlling (which every body else can control easily) but I cannot. I continue to live under the fear that something completely random or unexpected would happen and screw me out of happiness.

And I tell you every time something has gone wrong it has gone wrong because of "safe bets". From job interviews, stock quotes, exams, applications, and networking events things that people (the idiots) have advised me as "good options" "high percentage play" or "safe option" have all gone wrong. I have lost trust in anybody who claims to know stuff. Any stuff. I really have lost that trust. Probably that is why I look at these Obama (or any political person) worshipping bloggers with cynicism. Because people really don't know what he (or anybody else) is even planning to do or capable of doing.

Forget bloggers - they are silly people. Take any person expressing an opinion with conviction. The conviction of his opinion is inversely proportional to the number of questions you ask that drill down to the details of that opinion. Every time someone says things like "I am real estate agent so I know current prices will increase in the future" - "I am an ICICI bank mutual fund investor I can double your money in 3 years" "i am trader so I can help you with stocks" or "I am an travel agent I can help you book tickets to India" - I think they are criminals looking to cheat me. I have stopped booking tickets to India. I normally am not present in the same room when someone is booking my ticket to India.

They say that lightning never strikes a man twice. Apparently the probability of that happening is very low. They are wrong. Did I ever tell you I get struck by lightning everyday? Which is why I wonder. About randomness and about life. And so view life from a confused perspective of an outsider. And hopefully this confusion has been clearly reflected in this blog.

Star Trek

Most people are children at heart. Kids often ask their parents to tell the same story again and again and they love it when the parent embellishes the story with new details, new subplots, prequels and so on. Hollywood is like that master story teller and tells us the same story in many different ways. Batman, Superman, Spiderman, James Bond has been rebooted so why not Star Trek? The reboot of Star Trek is a delight for fans of first generation and hopefully should be fascinating for newcomers. This movie steers clear of all the mistakes that the first ever Star Trek movie did (no content but too much hype) and gets to the action straight away. One can almost compare this to the 'Wrath of Khan'.

There has been considerable effort to reference many of past Star Trek dialogs and character profiles. Spock also quotes Sherlock Holmes again "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” When the movie begins the first sound you hear are those small tweet sounds from the original Star Trek. That in itself gave me goose pimples. And then the references continue almost every other scene. When Shatner played Kirk, he had several episodes where he'd cheat death and always go for the win-win option. This trait has been referenced here. The Kobayashi Maru test is shown in the movie the way Kirk described it happen in "Wrath of Khan" (while eating an apple). Dr. McCoy's famous line "I am doctor not an X" (where X != Doctor) already has a count of like 4 or 5. Captain Christopher Pike is here and has a plot that neatly fits in with his eventual fate that will (has already) happen(ed). Leonard Nimoy makes his customary appearance. Several (really really lot of) inside jokes exist which is bound to keep a Star Trek fan completely interested.

The plot in itself is interesting as most time travel conundrums tend to be. And needless to say this movie does leave a few gaping logical holes that is congenital with time travel stories logic. It also also leaves some open ended questions and a revolting romance between Spock and Lt Uhura that should really be quickly terminated. The plot: Nero, played by Eric Bana, a Romulan is back in time to avenge Spock's error of not saving Romulus from a supernova. His time travel alters the life course of Kirk's father, James Kirk himself, the younger spock, spock's mom (my dream woman Wynona Ryder plays Spock's mom) and the rest of the cast. The resulting time conundrums and complexities are very entertaining.

This movie certainly has a creative (a master stroke really) way of restarting a series with the time-travel/time-altered history of the all the main characters and re-introduces familiar characters who now face a different future. It also does the James Bond reboot thing of doing the customary title introduction "space the final frontier.." in the end (and Spock curiously says "where no one has gone before" instead of "no man" just to be politically correct). Rodenberry's Star Trek wasn't simply about finding new life or new civilizations. It was about finding the true human nature when in strange worlds and civilizations. This movie focuses on character descriptions of the crew a little too much for comfort. Star Trek ain't about that. Its about complex stories and plot situations that essentially tests the human nature of the crew and the captain. In this movie the plot is just an excuse to reaquaint with long lost TV friends, which is good but it better stop with this movie. Hopefully J.J. Abrams will remember this theme as it starts a new series of movies.

Highly recommend this movie.

p.s: I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I failed to catch it before it left the theaters but a midnight IMAX show saved me from missing this.

Kiriket

Since I had my most eventful day in the last 1 year of cricket in Seattle, I decided that I should write about it. Also because - sadly - if I don't no one else will. Really had to blog this 'bayangara' extraordinary change in fortunes over a short period of time w.r.t my cricket life last weekend. Unexpectedly, I opened the bowling for my team. However, getting to know this after the toss and seconds before we walked into the field kinda messed up my mind. Usually I bowl first change. So when the captain looks at me and does his shoulder wiggle thingie (that somehow has come to mean "warm up you are in next") I begin to visualize where I'll pitch the ball and "pre-determinedly" mug-adichufy what to do when I get to my run-up. This way when while bowling I am not really thinking but simply executing. Keeps everything clean.

This time, I nervously said "right arm over" to the umpire, went to the top of my run up with a shining new red "cherry" and then ....was momentarily confused. There was a leftie on strike. Its not as if this was the first time I'd be bowling to a lottai but somehow not knowing it beforehand made me pause because (a) am confused (b) was already nervous about opening the bowling. After some thought call to the umpire and said "around" knowing fully well that I hadn't bowled around in the last year or so. Then went on to bowl 7 consecutive wides. Sometimes you never know WTF happens to you when you lose confidence mid-runup. Especially if you are used to the habit of deciding where to *try* and pitch the ball before runup and then execute it. Poor confidence meant that I was confused about where to pitch it until delivery. While bowling my 7th wide I was actually thinking "I have no idea where this is going to land" at delivery stride. So gave away 12 runs for the first over. I was prepared to not be asked to bowl again and went and stood sulking @ gully.

That was until I caught a total blinder next over. Batsman slashes at a wide ball and it screams to gully. I jump and grab it one handed. If I was given 5 more seconds to think about it I would have dropped it but strangely not been given enough time, in this instance, worked to my favor. That momentary 'undo' on my pathetic bowling performance gave me another over. Then I went on to bowl 5 overs, 4 maidens and squeezed out a wicket. 6-4-13-1 looked awesome now. Was removed from attack and brought back for the 38th and 40th over. The Pahisthaani left hander was still around batting at 110 or so. I gave 2 sixers in the 7th over and 2 more sixers plus a four in the last over. And was brought back to earth. 8-4-41-2 wasn't going to retain my opening bowling spot. Strangely there used to be a time when playing against pagisthan type teams pumped me up but that day I just dropped my pants and bent over.

Chasing 237 in 40 overs isnt easy. During lunch captain looks at me and says 1-drop. I get all excited. Last year, I got into the team as an opener peethifying that I was Sachin Tendulkar of Palayamkottai but ended up being demoted due to poor performances. After scraping around the bottom of the batting order all last year, I finally got opportunity-part deux. I go in at 20/1. I again mentally prepare to dokku-vechufy for 2-3 overs before even thinking of scoring. Third ball I face, the bowler drops it short, I go back and pull over mid-wicket for 4. Bayangara sandosham and confidence happens and resulting adrenalin makes me give the '36 mottaigalin attagasangal' kind of batting performance. 40 scored of 43 balls: 7 boundaries. Finally got out when team was 101/2. Checked my shot in the last minute while going after a off-side full toss and dragged the ball back to the stumps. We ended up losing by 50 runs. But on the bright side "hope are there mama" that I will be batting higher up the order next game.

Orrey the looking forward to this season.

Some things in life are fascinating

Like the last 3 seconds of the video



Post Script:

In case folks are interested in seeing the whole thing

Change of Guard

Watched the last episode of Jay Leno in Tonight Show with some senti yesterday. There is nothing new to say about this show as most of the trivia around it has already appeared in the press several times over. 17 years is quite a long time. When I began to follow this show a decade ago, I could rarely manage to stay awake until The Tonight Show aired, however the age of DVR made things a little bit easier. Tonight Show is like a "Friends" equivalent - Not super high quality humor but time pass stuff that made you go to sleep in a pleasant way. I really thought that the "Best Of Jay Walking" didn't really reflect the Best of Jay Walking. There were much better stuff that could have been shown.

Respect for Conan O Brien mainly arises from the fact that he wrote for Simpsons. It should be interesting to see his take on the show.

Aattu Mandhai

There used to be this really funny proverb said by Gandhi that appeared in first page of every school text book (CBSE or Matric - I forget). It went like "everytime you are sad, bummed, screwed think of the poorest, most wretched, dirtiest, eating crap from the bottom of the garbage bin, starved out dude you have ever seen and you will notice that your problems strangely disappear because of the superiority complex you get as a result of looking down upon the poor."

If I ever suck as a parent, at least I can look at parents of spelling bee contestants and people who think of them as role models and get the required superiority complex. If you grew up categorizing such things as "typical PSBB school buddhi" it almost feels as if PSBB school was made into a country and renamed as "Spelling Bee America".