Thursday, July 22, 2004

Parents are in town!

"Kitchen  is a mess, Drawing room diwan is a mess, Bedroom is a mess, no toothbrush/tooth paste stand, no sofa in the house, servant maid maybe cheating by not sweeping the floor properly, building electrician is incompetent"

Parents are in town and they dont like the way I live life. They have gone ahead, sneaked behind my back and committed a neatness. Its amazing that the same house and surroundings which I've inhabited for almost a year has so many flaws. I thought it was a well oiled machine, I have survived in it for a year which means the house must have something working in its favor.

Hey! I have a multi purpose diwan where I can sit and watch TV/ check email/ chat/ eat potato chips till 11:00 PM/ throw away the chips packet on the diwan/ retire to bed in the same diwan itself. Now tell me if there can be more comfort derived from a single furniture. Now the sweet little thing has been moved away from front of the TV and a couch sits in its place.

Heck! what can a couch do that a diwan can't? It was shocking to see the house arranged and give out that reeky "phamili house" impression. I was so close to naming my house swamp much like the hawkeye before me did; ya! this is no wijan-bu , the koreans arent fighting now and I dont have a still that prepares dry martinis, but its the principle that counts. Now its just too neat to be named swamp.

Gave up the car to my dad and am now travelling by good ol' auto. Like in the movie Being John Malkovich, I get to live inside an auto and find out why these autodrivers are so insane. It is my considered opinion that they have never read the rule book ever in their lives (they have never read anything in their lives.. hell! they cant read at all). According to them a licence is obtained by giving money across the counter.

Once they switch on their meter, their only purpose is to reach the destination no matter what. Other vehicles, signals, roadblocks, buildings are a mere headache or obstacles in their path. These obstacles have no meaning to autos but just play the role of an abstraction. My autodriver seemed to squeeze between vehicles ,thought everything else on the road was part of a conspiracy to delay him, showed scant respect for any color in the signal box.

Like the villian in T-2 he was relentless in his purpose. He had to move forward no matter what. If there was a gap ahead of him, even if it was in the opposite lane he would fill the gap by moving forward. If there was no such gap he would take the pavement platform. Bangalore is the only place in India where I have seen people travelling on pavements. Maybe to their limited brain functionality it is all a video game to these auto drivers.

But some day I hope to pay a lot of money to Veerappan and ask him to kidnap all the autodrivers and never release them for any amount of money. It is a completely different matter that the goverment wouldn't bother paying the money. Its also a separate issue that for the love of mankind Veerappan would get the money(if the govt paid) and slaughter all the auto drivers. 



Ekta said...

This is just soo the same everytime my folks come in. Suddenly my room which I have "just cleaned up"..looks like been in dump since years!

Its amazing how mom's can take out garbage from just about anywhere and always wanting to create method in the madness of our lives!!

Maybe there should be some special sessions for parents with kids staying outta home everytime they visit--"How to learn to survive and cope with the dump called house that your kids inhabit!"

And autowallas...well..the less talked about the better!

Hawkeye said...

Hi Ekta,

The point is the electrician in my building used to pay my mobile/bsnl/electricity bill get stuff from restaurants and do some odd jobs. He has been given the boot! just because he doesnt do his electrician-work properly.

gawd! my man friday is gone.

tilotamma said...

Bharath - I cannot believe I had not chanced upon your excellent "madrasi' blog till date.
How can that possibly be? I have spend hours reading through lesser blogs, just because they have same madras connection!


Anonymous said...

wonderful post.. i see the same thing happens everytime my mom comes to my so called house

Anonymous said...