Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Fast week

okay! time is running fast this week ( almost at the rate of 60 secs per minute). Have cousin's family visiting me with uncle and aunt. They have 2 little kids ananya and aneesh ! Aneesh is a riot and has one clear objective " destroy". He is a miniature terminator. Already all electronic objects, which I had carelessly strewn along the floor, now reside safely on top of tables, TV's etc. Aneesh keeps a constant vigil at the floor-level and destroys anything that falls down!

The best thing about last week is that my aunt seems to be able to cook food with virtually no utensiles. Given that my house really has no vessels, cooker etc and the kitchen is merely ornamental, I was surprised to see industrial quantities of food being produced . Some people are straight out of the chandamama book where all you need is for the old bearded man to wave his hand at a magic pot and food will start to flow from the pot until the whole village gets drowned in food.

Took a walk with Aneesh, Ananya and my cousin in the streets of bangalore yesterday. The thing about walking in bangalore with an infant is that when it rains you aren't really sure if the drizzle from above is rain on someone spitting from the bus. In bangalore people have an obsession to spit every nanosecond and most of them are brain dead enough to spit from the bus window without really caring what or who's underneath. Two wheelers in bangalore really have to watch out. If they think its raining but they see that little jhonny( from the nursery rhyme for u perverts:-) ) is still playing outside then its really not raining!

Okay so I made my way to the shop and back with little Aneesh and in the process dodged about a 100 spits directed at me by strangers who really had no reason to spit on the road (or me).

Baby language is strange! They speak in opcodes

goo = shoes
bow = ball

so if you dont have a baby reverse compiler, which is the pregnancy residue for slightly plump(not-fat just plump) moms after the baby is delivered, its difficult to understand what babies are saying. And the babies always want to go out! even when they are out they want to go further out!

The olympics have begun;

I have this feeling about olympics. ITS BORING. no seriously ITS BORING!. I talked to 5 people who said they watched the opening ceremony, I asked them what particular thing they followed the most. Most of them were either clueless or vaguely interested if the wind in greece would be strong enough to blow up the skirts of ice skaters. They all lost interest in olympics when they were told that ice skating was primarily winter olympics.

Ofcourse there are a few people who could name four athletic events( real name not names like pentacathlon) and I know of a person who remembered last years triathlon winner. I was watching Ian thorpe swim from one wall to another and didn't give a damn. It's not as if Jennifer Lopez is swimming, its a guy!!! He seems to be confused as to where he wants to be and so he keeps moving (quickly) from one end of the pool to the other, while other people measure how quickly he can change his mind on where he wants to be. I think swimming is essentially a measure of how quickly you can confuse yourself.

Why is the olympics boring for most of us ?

The big reason being ; India suck in olympics. The only items we can reasonably come close to winnning a gold is (a) tennis-doubles. We suck in hockey, archery is a mirage, weightlifting has never improved from being a possibility. In short we are a geek manufacturing industry. We can raise .7 billion couch potatoes with pot bellies. Thats it!. Thank god for cricket, India can claim some relationship with sport. If other countries lost interest in cricket, India would probably settle for an annual cricket match between the bollywood idiots and the ranji losers.

I usually watch the 100 meters sprint if somebody tells me which day the event is scheduled ( otherwise I catch it in the news). I watch the pole vault thing ( from the sergei bubka days). If Leander Paes can create some magic, ya tennis doubles would be interesting! but thats it. I think the same applies to about 90% of the people who have a life ( and a job).


Ekta said...

this one is hilarious!
and completely agree with the spitting bit...soooooo irrriiittating..when wil we Indians learn!!!

All these spitters should be made to clean the road after they spit!

And about Olympics..though not completely drab but do agree its losing its charm..India seems to be faring more and more emabrassingly in every Olympic!

Btw happened the catch the pole vault event yesterday and couldnt believe how bad it was...just not upto Olympic standards..one of them actually ended up breaking the pole!

Anonymous said...