Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Confessions from an Oakley view point.

A stranger in Radio Shack, Dallas picked me up and said "Genuine Oakley Sir! made out of a secret alloy, which is why its called X-Metal, each glass is unique and has its own serial number" He lets out a whistle and says " man! this must've cost you 300$"

My master, Bharath takes me back from the stranger and says "No sir, you are wrong. Its Genuine Oakley! made out of a secret alloy, which is why its called X-Metal, each glass is unique and has its own serial number. Cost me 275$ and if you include tax is 300$"

Thats my master for you. He likes to brag about me.

Hi! I am Oakley, Bharath's goggles and his "preecioussss". My master is on a vacation for a week and so I decided to blog on his behalf. You may be interested to hear from a fly on the wall in Bharath's house. You got the next best thing. His goggles in his drawing room..err.. in his, pants, dustbin, commode, bedroom, car. Ya! My master is absent-minded. He constantly keeps forgetting me. I sometimes think without me the bungling fool is like Betram Wooster without Jeeves.

Consider last week for instance. When master decided to go to Mayajaal with his girl for a movie. He could've kept me in his car. But he didn't. He absent-mindedly carried me inside. Why would he need a poor goggle like me in a dark movie theatre. Given his companionshipman ship.. err, he could have missed the movie and gone somewhere else. Instead they both went to a movie theatre and still missed the movie ( yuk! yuk!). I yelled at my master when he kept me down in the seat. I knew he would forget me. And he forgot... the blind idiot... the stupid crazy Tarantino groupie kept staring at the screen and completely ignore me!. Me a genuine 300$ Oakley. Separated from my master because he wanted to see a movie called Kill Bill Vol.2. Damn Tarantino and damn his stupid fans like my master..

Around 600 people watched another movie in the same hall, the next show and one kind gentleman picked me up and gave me to the theatre manager. I was terrified. I didnt know if I would see my master again. And where was my master..romancing and galavanting! He seems to have forgotten his first love (sob..sob).

The next day evening, who comes to pick me up? Not my master!!! but his dad. The slob.. the lazy slob... emotionally blackmails his dad to pick up his leftovers. Someday I'll put down the shutters when he is driving. he'll know then.

This is not the first time we have been separated. When we first got engaged in Dallas, I thought he was the one. But little did I know he was an absent-minded one. He has forgotten me in temples, relative's house, friend's places, Madras Pavillion restarants. I have fried in the Dallas sun for days together when he forgot me in the car. He wore (down) a rolce royce like me for stupid cricket matches. In Pune, he forgot me in his office, his scooter, chat stalls. In Madras he forgot me in his grandma's place, marriage halls, car (again), friend's house (again).

My master's dad took me away from him and put me in a locker. But then "she" came into the picture! My master started taking me out again. He bragged about his "precioussss" to "her". All the time !!! Completely disrespected his "preciousss". Until finally the Mayajaal incident happened. Master's dad took me away from master..forever! And put me in a locker.

Serves him right! The fool. The dork now drives around with a cheap 600 rs. "cooling glass". He looks like Livingston without me.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have met, havent we? I mean, I am not talking to Oakley here, but to her(?) master! Just a query after two seemingly related names turned up on the same set of comments!
aNTi...

Hawkeye said...

ya we've met. we even went for a movie together in athens. let me recall which movie.. it was in jan 2003.. not lotr-2 but somethin else..

ya my comment in ur blog site was not out of anger..just that i am sad people dont rely on logic but instead use smart-ass comments to make one liners and go away.. its just sad thats it..

i agree with ur views abt sachin though.. people need to define the cause and effects of performance and victory.. before getting into spefics like statistc. i am sure people like that nilakantan dude doesnt know what it takes to win a match. which is why a person like lara who rebels and hijacks teams to london boycootting a tour and who runs away from australia in middle of tour with his gf are more popular than sachin..

its all what u remember when u write that makes up a persons opinion..not long-term opinions

Anonymous said...

I had the oppurtunity to save that Oakley a couple of years ago, but I failed .. :-)

.. and now I have to apologize to the people for the stupid blog as well :-)

Suresh

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed that daa..good thinking, reminded me of the non-detail lesson in X std "Without Glasses" or was it the main stream lesson, who cares!
Babs

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