Monday, January 30, 2006

Masala Dosai

The South Indian family that we are, my wife and I invited a friend for Dinner. He specifically requested Dosai for dinner. My wife started with the batter and all the usual pre-dosai stuff. As the afternoon wore on, I slowly talked to my wife and convinced her to take the dinner preparations - a level higher. "Masala Dosai would not be a bad idea", I kept telling her. I throw in words like 'constant pressure' - 'unbelievable workload' to dramatize things. "A dosai would releive all this temporarily" - I rested my case. One thing led to another and cocunut chutney also sprang into the scheme of things.

My friend arrives. We spend 2 minutes saying hello and quickly put the plates and sit on the table. My wife starts making m.dosai and serving it to us. We start talking and eating. Things are on a roll. Bitching about MBA and stuff is always engaging.

30 minutes later:

The batter is almost done. My friend is on his SEVENTH m.dosai. I am on my EIGHTH. And its Masala Dosai. Not just regular ones. I am keeping count. Under normal circumstances my wife would have closed shop after my 3rd. But a guest is around. She can't say a word. Especially since I have been carefully avoiding all her signs asking me to stop. I am mentally begging my friend to go for 2 more. He gets the 8th dosai. Realizes that we have been talking and eating for quite some time. His eyes droop. The poor fellow runs out of gas and says "can't have more baba! I am stuffed. Here dude.. you have half". So I take the half and cooly tell my wife (without looking at her) - "I'll stop with one more honey!". She decides to dare me and says "No I think you have had enough".

Never the one to be cowed down by a stare fight, I double dare "No I'll have one more". I think she must've looked at me for a while before throwing in more 'maavu' on the tava. I can say because the 9.5th dosai took a while to appear on my plate. I usually like the new one dropped on my plate as I am having the last piece of the previous one. It is all one smooth motion. Like music. But its all forgiven once I get my 9.5th Masala Dosai. On the flip side we did have a small regret that my poor wife barely got 2 Dosai's for her dinner (and masala for just one dosai). I guess its just one of those things.. I am sure I'll apologize.... but it all depends on when she starts talking to me again.

Did you people hear about the incident in Madras where a guy climbed up a pole and threatened to jump if the police did not pay him Rs 500,000? It happened right next to my parents house. There is a cell phone tower next to Pandian Store (W.Mambalam). A person it seems climbed the tower and threatened to jump. Apparently he was not from the city. The entire public stopped and watched the show for 2 hours. My mom's neighbor literally dragged her to the terrace to watch the guy. It seems people were saying " I have to go to work and finish something important. But.. I won't, because I'll never get a chance to see something like this". Ice-cream sellers and Balloon sellers began to set up shop to cash in on the excitement (Source: My Aunt). Fire Engine, Police and all the kings men had come to convince Mr.Humpty Dumpty. Luckily he didn't have a great fall. The police managed to save the guy's life. I live there and nothing happens. I leave and its all drama. Nothing ever happens in Mambalam. 1 spoon less sugar in Kameswari's coffee house is enough to set residents talking about it non-stop for 3 days. I think this is the most exciting thing that has happened in W.Mamalam since the East India Company landed on the shores. And I missed that. People will not stop talking about this. Be it inbetween overs during Ind-Pak cricket matches or while grabbing 'free' (oosi) news paper from neighbor's house. Its unbelievable. Its all happening out there.
P.S: Hey it came in the papers

20 comments:

sri said...

Happy to see u return back to normal blogging after long time.
reminded me of my days in chennai and the masala dosa that i had in saravana bhavan , chennai. ....
one of my favorites after upma. :-)
cannot forget chennai for three things with respect to fooooood...
1. idly with sambar
2. masala dosai and
3. coffee... ( there is really ...something... very very very special about coffee and chennai....especially filter coffee )...any comments and observations from the wanderer ???

Hawkeye said...

hey. ur sporting a french beard :-)

cool.

Praveen said...

hi man....I tagged u....chkout my blog to know more abt the 8 point tag
http://crusadertvm.blogspot.com

hams said...

Yum!!! I want some of the masala dosa too!!!! Your lucky friend!!!

Vani Viswanathan said...

Lol!!!
Gosh, I just had a pathetic dinner and you're out here talking of the 9.5 dosas that you ate! Lucky you....

Hema said...

Hello Hawkeye,

Welcome back. Been a while since you had written something lighter...

mmm..Masala Dosai..you've tempted me now. Got to check if i can make sometime..cha....missing chennai like hell at times like that. Hope you pacified your wife later...

Reg. the suicide attempt, I wish i could be like him, standing on the top of a tower for a Masala Dosa now (hmm...hunger kills i guess. I am now in office doing some stupid consult whilst my stomach is crying for some food :) )

Good to see u back

D.N.A. said...

And you count your guest's dosas!
IDHANDRO VIRUNDHOMBAL!!

Srinivas said...

Hey Hawkeye..

Congrats on your non-stop masala feat. Ennadhan irundhalum oruthana veetukku kooptu or dosa hit counter set pannadhu konjam aniyayam. Its gonna hit you next time cos your guest will be vary of the things to come and stop at 3 or 3 quarterish..

By the way, whats your real name?

Srini.

anthony said...

I seriously don't know if Mdosai = mdosa. But it is, then is it really possible to have 8/9 of those... LOL. Because I have also eaten Dosa at friend's houses, and they are as large as the ones i eat at restaurants. If such is the case, 8 would be a good number eh :-)

WA said...

HaHA was smiling all the way through. Good Luck and do let us know when your wife forgives you :)

ssk said...

hey bharath,
paravalaiye dosaiya attack paniyacha..paathu inimel MMMdosai ban pannida poraanga.
Next how about mini idly soaked in sambharrrr ???? or good old ven pongal ;)
- senthil

fieryblaster said...

very interesting post. g8t to know that my friend can cook mouth watering masal dosai's to make u eat 9.5 in a single stroke. my hats off to her.:)

Anonymous said...

The story of the masala dosa. is this post meant to show how Indian MBA students in the US ill treat their wives, is it? Or is it supposed to be funny. or some kind of irony being demonstrated.

anyways, its quite funny to think that it comes from a person who removes a post called 'hypocrisy' days after rabidly raving at anothers hypocrisy.

i just dont get it. why do i read this blog then, you may ask? because it does provide amusement. so therefore, i should be grateful to you. an am. thank you hawk i

rads said...

lol, that was funny! Gosh all men in the husband's role are alike I guess.
That west mambalam story was hilarious - you are right on about the gossip and the excitement that WM could ever have.. :-))

Akshay K said...

anonymous,

you are biased, no sense of humor, have comprehension problems but more importantly a loser without a life. basically you are either gaurav sabnis or one of his ass lickers.

stick this in your bedroom wall and read it everyday.

everybody else has moved on. get a life. its 14th page news now. seriously! get a life.

Ekta said...

Hey u in HK too?
But ur post is absolutely Hilarious!
Hahah...can just imagine ur poor wife almost eyeing u...hah!
But the post almost made my mouth water!...I need masala dosai now!!!!!!

visithra said...

hehehe 9.5 masala dosas??? dear god - 1 itself is too much for me!

lol hehehe i had the same feeling some time back on my little old town ;)

ashok said...

I share the views of ur taste buds wen it comes to masala dosais...i just cant resist them...man..now wer do i find them in kabul..darn!

LOL on wat u wrote about w.mambalam..I've lived a couple of months there ...

Hema said...

Hello,

Long time since you've gone into Hybernation:). Come back soon.

Labakku Das said...

"The South Indian family that we are, my wife and I invited a friend for Dinner."

I guess even North,East, and Central Indian families invite friends for dinner!

I suppose it should have been "The South Indian family that we are,he specifically requested Dosai for dinner"

Sorry for the nitpicking! Just couldn't resist posting it :P Great blog though. Reading all your posts. Came here via Mayura. Super stuff :)