Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Election Time (Updated with video of Gaptan)

Aha! so its that time again. Noisy speakers that disturb kids studying for exams. Devotional songs altered so that aiyappan is used interchangably with Moo Kaa Stalin. The excitement is in the air and my cynicism is aroused.
My knowledge of politics is negligible. I do not even know if elections are held once every 4 years or 5 years. I am like 2 times worse than my collegues and cousin in Pune who did not know the name of Maharashtra's CM (you read it right. its "worse". Not knowing such stuff is good for the health, the way maltova is good for the health). I have written like 2 blogs on politics. Felt completely out of place in this topic. I detest people who do "thinnai arattai" on GW Bush and Sonia. When they cant remember details about their own life and need their wife to let them know where they misplaced their hearing aid, it is inconceivable that they can know enough about Uncle George to actually develop an opinion. Sometimes I derive sadistic pleasure out of telling them that Bush and Sonia are good people and they deserve to be elected. For some reason people think they know enough about the complex inner working of politics that they can actually disagree with me. I know nothing and I dont see them as any better. In fact people believe in their superficial and extremely ill-informed analysis so much that they can even get angry. If you dont believe me try doing this - keep a serious face and say " come on! how do you know the WMD really wasnt there? It might've been there". You would get a 1 hour lecture which will make you think the person inspected iraq personally.

The most important thing I miss during election season is the Vikatan Magazine jokes. They were really funny. Some of the "katchi thaval" jokes were awesome.

Gaptan (Captain) Vijaykanth's entry into politics has given opportunities for - like a - billion jokes. I loved their family photo that was being forwarded around (Let us say it did not fit in my laptop screen and I need 3Gig disk space to store the photo). Have a couple of jokes on it from my side but lets keep that aside. Lets say he wont win all the 234 seats :-) But if T.Rajendar can stand in elections then we shouldnt be too hard on Gaptan. Anyway see this video and ensooy Gaaptan's arrival into MGRdom! (Credits and Thanks to the person who made this video. I found it in youTube)

I learned that M.Karunanidhi is still alive. Is he 670 years old? Last time he was seen competing against Aurangazeb and Kirumi Cholan III. I think this could be DMK's last big election before MK croaks and they disntegrate.

I am seriously rooting for Dr.J.Amma. No I am not kidding. I looked at her Amazon shopping cart and it has people like PC, Sonia, Subramaniam Swami, Advani, Vajpaye, Vaiko, Rajinikanth, Cho, Veerappan, Sankaracharyar. C'mon we all have been to Amazon and can we boast of this kind of a shopping history. I think she can win over anyone. I have always believed that with her - its just a matter oftime before she quietly prizes out her enemy. Her purchase of T.Rajendar and tossing him away was a classic example of acquire and dispose. With Vaiko she has perfected that art. I am seriously becming her biggest fan.

I have no knowledge of North Indian politics. Having been used to a clean 2 party system in Tamil Nadu, the gzillion people northwards of Arakonam is really confusing. This is how I see the parties in N.India
For(;;) {
strcpy (party_name[i], srand( ) x[i] + "janata party");
printf(%s, party_name[i]);
I still know that Manmohan Singh is PM. I also know that the recent Lok sabha elections saw all those parties fielding 300 times more movie actors than Tamil Nadu has fielded in the last 60 years. Some one like Govinda is a MLA or MP.

Lastly the media. I hate Indian media. No other country's media is so openly biased and immature. I think we have the most tabloid'ish (TOI) and sensationalist (NDTV) media in the world. Completely incomptent, extremely boring, totally jingoistic. The diplomatic jingoism of the US pales in comparison with Indian media. And to think that the people mentioned in the first paragraph develop opinions based on this media makes them even more comical. If India becomes a superpower, I am pretty sure we will be the biggest superpower bully the world has ever seen. I think my sense of patriotism (which was non-existent to start with) got completely eroded after I saw India's new generation media. They build caricatures out of Laloo prasad. Would you be interested in a news which says "Laloo solved 3rd degree differential equations in double quick time". No! You want to hear he is a stupid. Whether he is really stupid or not is not any of your concern. You, my dear reader are more superficial than the media. Any funny article about Laloo or Jayalalitha you will gobble it up like a village idiot, without questioning the media. And so you my dear reader deserve this media.

The obsession over Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachan and Aishwarya Rai. When will this stop? They create sensation when one of them farts. The media does a breaking news that one of them has farted and captures the fart live until it diffuses into the atmosphere. Then there is an analysis on why Amtabh's fart dissimilates in consistent molecular fashion than most other farts. There is a NPV analysis on how much loss producers will suffer because Amitabh stopped to fart. This obsession with stupid bollywood in commonwealth games is just plain nauseating. Can we have a conversation where cricket and bollywood is not involved? And also can this media stop sensationalizing IIM salaries and (falsely) reporting the numbers. Rediff talked about some guy getting some obscene amount. When I contacted my friend who is a second year in IIM-B, he said "dont believe the media they fart a lot". Sachin Tendulkar said Boo-Boo to the media when he said that they exaggerated the boo-ing he got in Whankade. Amitabh basically called NDTV - crap because they hyped his illness. I think the media should shut up and get the point.

Rang De basanti be damned - Dont believe that movie. You can't change the world at all. It is completely futile.


I said...

The US media is even worse than the Indian media, as far as bias and propaganda are concerned.

and hey btw, newlands and capetown are the same. But Tendulkar's century was in the 2nd innings. Regardless of that, he's over rated.

Hawkeye said...


Sachins century was in the 1st innings. He hit 169 caught biliantly by adam bacher.

In the second innings only azzu bai hit a 50.

I dont think any channel in US could be worse than NDTV. I cant even imagine british tabloids to be worse than TOI.

Rishi Agarwal said...

i completely agree with u , i simply hate the Indian media, there are more than 15 Indian news channels - english- and all suck.

the worse thing is, any small , irrelevant incident is a BREAKING NEWS for them !!!

Lakshmi said...

aringar anna,

"over rated" is your problem ad media's problem. not his. he is what he his. if you think too much of him then its your fault.

I said...

yeah that's what I meant. The second innings of the Test match or India's first innings. I was wrong, initially.

Anyway, TV sucks. But its TV, so we might as well watch it.

I sincerely hope tendulkar is caught redhanded over ball tampering or matchfixing, just to peeve one billion people.

Lakshmi said...

i thought u wanted tendulkar to be rated correctly. Neither over-rated nor underrated.

jomy said...

Woah ...finally one more person who didnt like Rang De Basanti ...

Wait ..lemme go through the post once more

Anonymous said...

Arignar Anna,

Are you in 1st grade? Arivu illai? Cricket theriyuma? oru mannum pudungaadha comment edhukku? Summa fashion nenappa?


Santy said...

"I sincerely hope tendulkar is caught redhanded over ball tampering or matchfixing, just to peeve one billion people"...

Way too lowly a comment to even comment upon!.

AAT dude - get your thinking right - it's as negative as wishing for a epidemic to solve India's population problem - ever heard the term - "root cause analysis"??

I accept that our country gives too much importance to movie and film stars - but tell me which country does not? - Reagan was a movie star...and plus watch the CNN or anything out here in the US...they do have their own share of "fart" reporting too..

That does not make it right - I accept that. But why should Tendlya be caught in bed with someone, just so the system changes? - this is crazy - there's a lot to learn from Tendlya - he's been an inspiration to lotsa folks from my generation - and I would not stop from accepting that he's one of the few role models we have had...

cerisecarnations said...

ndtv is nothing but crap
yesterday they were showing lakme india fashion week.Unfortunately for one of the models the flimsy material her stupid insensitive designer had tied came off when she was right in center of the ramp.There she was humiliated , topless and totally in tears(she dint cry but she wuld have if she was alone and not supposed to look sophisticted).Now NDTV made sure they add fuel to her misery by showing the telecast 3 times.I mean please media should show some sensitivity right.Isnt there more important things to cover like murders, raoes, violence...

Anonymous said...


Why dont u write a blog about those frigging forwarded emails? man made me puke....

Here are a few samples
1) Comparing Katrina and Bombay floods
2) INDIA is Great - A stupid slide show which makes you puke again.
3) Some frigging dude needs some kind of transplant.

dont get me wrong but these are a few emails a few of us would have seen and makes ur BP shoot up a notch...

Anonymous said...

have you heard of the ex-IITians in their late 20s starting a new party in India and contesting in the elections ???


vidhu said...

The first step towards any kind of change is belief. I dont know about the world, but I think it is essential for individuals to change their thinking fist and believe that this society can get better. Everything starts with the individual as in Rang de basanthi.

hema said...

Hello Hawkeye,

Have been following your posts but felt too lazy to leave a comment :)(oops)

But this post really made me comment on the way you accuse Indian media and say it is worse than any other. Before doing so, if you ever get a chance please see the BBC breakfast show, the most popular news telecast that millions of britishers watch every day.

The maximum knowledge you get off that is a lady being deprived of medical facilities or someone being traumatised becoz her kid refused to go to school and loads other bull shit like that. That way even the most ridiculous sun views (i refuse to call that Sun news as they dont give any news but their good for nothing views on everything) covers better things than BBC breakfast show. You talk about media hype, let me tell you; no one could be more false and dramatic than UKites when it comes to media hype. Even the coverage on commonwealth games were only focussing on those where England won a gold, silver or bronze.These guys are so utterly disgusting that even if their politicians or sports people show signs of burping, they write a full cover story on how many times they burped and so on....

Dont always be harsh on our country and rate it the worst. I understand you may not want to glorify all we do in the form of "Patriotism" but we are not as bad as we potray.

Anonymous said...

there goes it again. such drivel. it still amuses me. thanks

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous! -

Hema's right - ever watched Nancy Grace/ Lou Dobbs/ Wolf etc here in the US - i mean today Robin Meade talked all morning about American Idol and the boy and dog recued in Canada! - gimme a break

Infact YOU amuse me Anonymous - for your negative drive! - and whats with all the "frigging" and "dudes" in your earlier post? - wanna be americano huh?!!...folks like you even lose their identity after a few years in the US ( I've been here long, in case you want to counter) - so stop giving your opinion about how India "sucks" - all chaps like you can do is crib - either on blog/ or in the comments page!

Nobody can bring a revolution in a day - so in that sense I disagree with RDB - but are we doing our bit?

And this chap "Hawkeye" - read his posts say 2 years back - and he shall talk about some US returned chap giving him bull in India...well, I find a lot of that chap in you now hawkie - we know you got into US B-school, and have your opinions even about the IIMs..( again, I went to IIM back home, and Kellogs here - so don't gimme any counter to this - you went to neither!) - but try not to "write off" India - try and contribute - else atleast don't be a pessimist..

Bottomline - same crap as far media/ star gazing etc happens in India/ US or like Hema said why pick on only India? - and pride yourself ( and even yap to desis back home) about watching Larry King?? - ( that oldie is no better that say Vir Sanghvi, for that matter!)

Hawkeye said...

/*again, I went to IIM back home, and Kellogs here -*/

let us forget the fact that whatever u said is illogical. you lie. u did not go to kellogg. no one who went to kellogg will say kellogs.

indian media can be the worst in the world and it is the worst. i find the US media less biased.

Hawkeye said...


Since you are far more honest and logical than the anonymous dude i'll answer you. I agree with a lot of what you say. I never said western media was unbiased. I clearly said american media was jingoistic but were subtle about it.

indian media is totally jingoistic and on-your-face at that. this is what irritates me.

like i said in many of my blogs befoe - i disgaree with the even-my-underwear-is-tricolor kind of patriotsim this media has propagated in the country.

there is so much a hype that a strong dose of negatitivity is needed to keep the perspective neutral and balanced.

Anonymous said...

thanks hawkie!

I just won a bet with a fellow worker ( you have no clue how much fun we have "analyzing" your blog!)....let me explain!!

This chap works for our "Org. Strat and Human Behaviour Practice", and we were discussing that a way to measure if anybody ( its not only you!) gets peeved in a debate/ argument/ discussion, is to to analyse his/her retort - and my stand always was that irrespective of the 10 good points you make, the person would scan and pick on a typo/ error/ pronounciation/ data error - which obviously means that the other has no good response for the 10 good points -

This colleague disagreed - and that thats my opinion - while I was basing it purely on personal experience...

How many times have we presented clients on say " A new corporate performance measurement strat" and broken all IHs - and the some wise VP says " on slide 16 - you mention source as AMR - I have been following them all through, and have never seen those numbers anywhere"!! ....get the picture...
missing the forest for the trees??

So coming back, we decided to plant the Kellogg with the single "G"....and I had bet that you wd respond ONLY on that - which this co worker refuted..

But you did!...

You may or may not beleive me going to Northwestern...but it does not make a difference to me..( I cd say..." want my grad details"...or something like that!..but no!)

Grow up Hawkie dude - you will be measured in the after MBA world by a lot of such "plants"...get the street skills in ur MBA..make a few trips to the backalleys of Detroit...shd help ya!...

Besides - never aim for " strat consulting" - ur idea of logic/ illogic is a killer - besides ur retort was very "Indianish"!! DID see the typo and decide to retort!!!...haha

Now coming back to your post...

/*I clearly said american media was jingoistic but were subtle about it.

indian media is totally jingoistic and on-your-face at that. this is what irritates me */

So you like the US hypocrisy huh?...I thot u were against being jingoistic in the blog - looks like its an issue or being subtle vs. blatant...

whats your point buddy?!!!

Hawkeye said...


this is one of the most childish "i did not steal his pencil teacher" explanations I have ever heard.

to bring in "human behavior" "planting of G" ..

you are so busted and I am ROTFL.

dude its like u lied on ur resume. 1 lie makes all the other points lack credibility. not that ur other points had any individual credibility themselves but kellogs (which btw doesnt fall under typo category and u wud know if u were from kellogg) really helped.

Akshay Kapur said...


the reply from Mr.anonymous is so funny!

I am gonna show it to all my friends. Is this what he second guesses MBAs to be.


Hawkeye said...


I guess people are working very hard in Rochester, NY. Psycho analyzing arbitrary blogs :-)

Business week Forum Junkie said...

kellogs :-)

I agree. This is not a typo. Anybody who has been to BW forums can vouch for that.

What a lie? and WHat a shameless cover-up. I just love it when sombody is screwed red-handed. But kellogs is just too obvious a lie.

I said...

Well actually, he was caught ball tampering in S.Africa. And he and the Indian media twisted it into 'he was cleaning the seam'. Ian Chappell later pointed out that even "cleaning the seam" should not be done by a fielder.

So even if he's caught redhanded people think he's infallible as God.

While the Indian media is biased pro-India, the American media loves to be anti-American.

Hawkeye said...


I think the punsihment was given and served by the playrs concerned. It is just that the media made a racist issue out of it. I dont undetsand why u tend to blame players for media creatios. I dont see u shouting at sehwag. he was banned for a match.

The moment stupid sidhu started arguing in favor of India, I started believing that the match referee was correct. He was the face of the stupidity of Indian media (others maybe stupid too. but indian media is no better).

Anu said...

@ Anonymous

Your lie and the cover up is so lame. Kellogs? If you had at least said Kellog with a single g, maybe someone would have believed your theory. Its just not your lucky day today.


I said...

Six players were given an one match ban. They played it anyway and that match was declared "unofficial". So instead of sitting out one official match, they played one unofficial match. At least that's my understanding.

Well anyway, the point I was trying to make was very few "Indians" considered the remote possibility Tendulkar may have tampered with the ball, after he was caught red-handed. And the Indian media made an outrage out of it.

Hawkeye said...

u r consistently incorrect. only sehwag was givena 1 match ban. he did not play the "unofficial match" and the next test match, which was the first test match against England in Ahmedabad.

Almost every commentator, ranging from ex-cricketers to current cricketers did not think it was ball tampering. the on-field umpirs did not report it. the match refree on his own saw TV replays and punished him. 2 days later chris cairns did something even worse and wasnt called. In the same game shaun pollock did a 3 minute oscar appeal and wasnt called.

it was not an open and close decision as u make it out to be. i thought it was ball tampering only by the strictest interpretation of the rules (which wasnt enforced like the 10 mph above speed limit). Even the match refree deemed it fit to only impose a 55% match fee.

you on the other hand are far more harsh and have a misguided memory to boot.

Hawkeye said...

and as per the rule if the 2 on-fild umpires and the 3rd umpire does not report the incident the match refree has no business bringing it up.

having said all this, sachin was only violating the rule not the spirit of it. there is a difference.

I said...

Okay six players were given a "suspended one-match ban", (for excessive appealing & ball tampering, ain't I allowed to exaggerate a little), Tendulkar among them. I don't see why Tendulkar should be exempt from the rules of the game even he was within the "spirit" of it. Regardless of technicalities like which umpire has the jurdisiction to report it.

Anonymous said...


You are the most pathetic person i have ever come across. Have u seen the Video of that ball tampering.. Do you f**king know about cricket.

That whole episode was just a drama made out by the stupid English match referee Mike Denness.

(for excessive appealing & ball tampering, ain't I allowed to exaggerate a little)

Fugger there was no excessive appealing involved with Sachin.. Man i really think why should i even waste my time typing this comment. But jerks like you are just Fugged up..

anantha said...

Hmm.. AAT.. whats your point? You jump from one incorrect fact to another.. and seem to be nonchalant about it.
I don't see why Tendulkar should be exempt from the rules of the game even he was within the "spirit" of it. Regardless of technicalities like which umpire has the jurdisiction to report it.
So, now we are prepared to gloss over one technicality to villify a player? Huh? Where did that one come from? You are one classic example of a fair weather fan, if I have ever seen one!

Anonymous said...

Guys, it was ball tampering within the rules defined. Whether or not he intended to do it is ur subjective opinion!

Nithin said...

Since you put up a video of Gaptain:):) -- This one is wayyyyyy cooler!

tilotamma said...

Enna hawkeye - orey ragala - election meeting madhiri errukku comments section!

Hawkeye said...


its like the story of ur blog. main blog topic (i think there is one, many may disagree :-) ) thavara matha side-issues'la thaan raagalai.

but then thats what happens in election meetings also


antha ponnuk'um..unakkum. my yelp. wanted!

D.N.A. said...

And I thought, hawkeye, you said "Can we have a conversation where cricket and bollywood is not involved?"! LOL! The comment section stands testimony to that!

Hawkeye said...



you r right. apparently we can never have. I have written like 4 posts on cricket in this place. its 4 more than what i wanted to.

anantha said...

Hawkeye: I think I need to put a disclaimer for that post. Andha ponnukum ennakum no connection. Andha ponnu innoru ponnu kitta.. chey.. Crazy dialoque nyabagam. Free.. will post disclaimer :p

Anonymous said...

Hmm..Adhu ennamo Anti'ku Megh... paeroda eppovumey oru attachment.


anantha said...

Prabhu.. machi.. public place la... ennaku endha problem um illa.. unakku theriyadha oru third party.. seri.. velila vandhadha onnum seyya mudiyadhu! :p

tilotamma said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.