Friday, January 19, 2007

Dr. Evil

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.







4 comments:

nidhin said...

ha....i'd given this as a quiz question once and asked people to identify the character.

No one got it....i thot people would, especially 'cos i put in the shaved testicles part...but no one did!

But Dr.evil's definitely at his best when he's belittling scott.

I P said...

Mike Myers next project is going to be an Indian character Guru Pitka. Hope he does not make too much fun about Indians. But most of the swami jokes has been done by Vivek already.

Hawkeye said...

nidhin,

i used laugh so loud when he says "he womanized.." in the anthony-hopikins/hannibal style

IP,

:-) i dont like the idea at the outset.

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