"India won the twenty twenty World Cup".
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
My observation on this Twenty20 cricket tournament are as follows. I guess you know all the gory details of the victory very well. So, let me focus on the more important points.
1. To the guy who, barely 20 seconds after Sreeshanth caught the ball, sends the following email to all his friends, yahoo groups, discussion lists, scraps in orkut with a profound observation on the subtleties of the game -
Its a one line email. Says nothing more, nothing less. And I have question for him - " Dude! Whats the deal here?" If we didn't watch it, we don't care. If we did watch it, we already know. So whats the joie de vivre in communicating this news. Now, don't get me wrong. A simple 'yipeee' is great and far more profound than his dry piece of news announcing "India Won Twenty20 World Cup". These words barely convey the exhilarating enjoyment experienced in those final few moments of the game. It conveys as much joy as words of the hostel warden announcing to Oliver Twist "your soup is served". I see this email as a desperate bid by socially inept losers to get some new emails to their Inbox. I am sure your friends think you are very annoying, I say.
2. Of course, the group of people who don't answer to the name Ajit Agarkar will go to sleep knowing that he got Rs. 80 lacs. I sincerely hope they actually get some sleep. As a member of this illustrious group, I can tell you that sleep is hard to come by. I have to open every pay stub of mine thinking "and Agarkar earned so much". It is not that such a large amount was paid. It is that Agarkar failed in what he tried hard to achieve. Among the people who have failed so far in the entire history of failure, nobody has failed more than Agarkar. He even failed at failing... in that he failed to fail and so failed the opposition team - if you get the Visu that I am trying to say. While this is a significant achievement in itself, is it an achievement worth 80 lacs? If you say, "But he tried hard, if Kerala Govt pays Uthappa because his grandfather had sex in Kozhikode then Agarkar should get 80 lacs. Be happy that the Maharashtra govt has paid him nothing". But should the board pay him for merely trying hard? Trying hard is good. But the end result has to appreciated - India won the World Cup. Thats devastating for Agarkar's so-called 'tried hard' efforts. That the BCCI took the Rudyard Kipling way of treating the two impostors - victory and defeat - alike is what is not going very well with my sleep system. When Agarker is getting a poor performance appraisal from the boards of other countries for not having the killer instinct to deliver the final blow, it is quite discourteous of BCCI to throw money at him. It is un-Indian to laugh at other people's misery, I say.
3. Umar Gul looks like a Urukhai warrior. A king kong. He-man, if I may say so. A beast of a man, who looks like he'd slay 30 people in one blow. Given this, it is inconceivable that he could have the voice that he has. Feminish and almost squeaky. Listening to him was like listening to my 3 year old niece complain "he took my jam mommy"(of course I didn't take her jam). I now know how Danny Morrison felt in 1994, when he heard Tendulkar at the post-match conference "mate! is it the same guy who performed proctectomy on me". Bureaucracy in Brahma and Allah's org, I say.
4. The best moment came when i-am-not-a-metrosexual-but-muffasil-guy Dhoni threw Cow dung on Shastri's face. Ignoring the long question Shastri visu'ed at him after the semi-final game, he started with "First of all I'd like to say something" and went on to say something like "Hey Mac you said we'd lose, we didn't, so whaddaya hafta say now. huh!?". Shastri gave a Colgate smile in return. I am sure he was embarrassed not just in the 'patriotism' angle but that nobody would be asking him for stock tips for quite some time. You have to give it to Dhoni, it was said in such a nice way. He even ended with "you must be more happy with the result". It was Dhoni's translation of "you must be happy to be proven a fool". Nothing wrong in what Shastrigal said, he just didn't have the communication style that Dhoni has. Its all about communication, I say.
5. It was certainly all about communication for Pakistan's captain, Shoaib Malik. He was the second person, in as many post-match interviews, to ignore Shastri's visu'ish question and give his own speech by saying "First of all.." Makes you wonder about Shastri and his visu questions. Nobody cares about them. They don't answer him anyway. So, why is he setting his rather complex and difficult question papers anyway? Makes you also wonder about people who say "First of all" without really intending to say a "Second of all" . Seems rather cunning of such people to promise something and not live up to it. So Mr. Shakesphere Malik says this, and he says it quite eloquently I might add, "First of all I want to say something over here. I want to thank you back home Pakistan and where the Muslim lives all over the world." Now clearly, this Wordsworth'ish poem is not intended for the Rameez Raja's of the world, who I am quite sure is embarrassed. He intends to communicate these words to the guy (who is a Muslim and who lives all over the world...in Pakistan) who can actually understand these encrypted words. He is communicating to - the villager living 120 kms south of Karachi, who wants to behead Shoaib for losing the game. Young marketing folks, observe Shoaib's positioning statement. What Socrates here is trying to say is that - "Dear Village religious fundamentalist man, You are Muslim. I am Muslim. Remember that well. So don't behead me, don't burn my house and for god's sake don't drive my tractor away. We are Bhai-bhai bai. Oh! btw World Cup bye-bye". Its all about knowing your audience and positioning yourself to that audience, I say.