Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Men's Locker Room

It is really a parallel dimension world. Imagine this. Men get up, brush, shave, go to office, work, attend meetings, attend parties, go to place of worship, play sports, go to baseball games, jog on the treadmill, do push ups. Men do all these activities. You know what the key thing is, when men do those activities.

They have clothes on.

As inconceivable as it sounds, men prefer to have clothes on when they are around other men. They feel odd when they are nude in front of other men. Imagine an all-men party over a football game. Would it be odd if they were completely naked during that party? They don't do any of the gay stuff ("not that there is anything wrong with it") but just hang around the house. Naked. Yes! It would be very odd. It would be odd if men roam around naked during a baby shower, baseball game, corporate meetings, gym, an all boys school, gay convention, sex-education-for-men classroom, cooking class, and even in a bachelors party.

But the locker room is in a parallel dimension.

Men, somehow, due to some freak of nature are totally comfortable walking around completely naked in front of other men - in a locker room. They are totally nude. Not even a thin piece of fabric is on them. No. Nada. Nil. Zilch. You should see my gym. Its a five star gym. Every treadmill has its own towel and cleaning liquid. There are thousands of machines for every variety. Large screen TV that transmit audio on FM. Its the best freakin gym I've ever seen. The locker room in the gym/club is really huge. Its like a small village by itself. With sofas, TV lounge rooms, restrooms, long stretch chairs (like those on the beach).

And people inside the locker room are completely naked.

They walk around - naked. Pause and watch TV - naked. When they have to wait for something they lounge in the chair - naked. Its one big naked party. The funny part is they act is if everything is normal. Here I am, putting some stuff in my locker. I am a fruit. I am probably carefully storing a wallet with saami photo, temple kumkum and Anjaneya dollar. Silly me. I am gaampleeatly dressed. Nasty me. I am making doubly sure that I always wear a towel. Rummaging around extracting my iPod. And naked people come and stand near me. Naked people dry themselves using the towel. Naked people open locker. Take comb and comb. Naked people use hair dryer. Naked people don't quickly dress up. They just pick the towel, talk, nod, say 'hi', and walk towards the rest room. There is a long pathway with some brochures, posters, weight machines. So I stop to check my weight. Naked people walk by. Its a long pathway. And they don't care. They just walk by. Slowly. Read brochures. Stare at the posters.

I am live inside the 'Beautiful People' movie.

And these are the same people who question cults with weird habits? My question is - if the same set of people meet outside the locker room - Say in an office, party or stadium - they wouldn't be caught dead seeing each other naked. However. I say however not so lightly my dear friend. However, if they cross that magic boundary line of the locker room, everything changes. Everything. In this parallel world. It is okay for men to see each other naked. They can drink water naked, they can check weight naked, comb naked, read goes on.

My mind is just so damaged right now with all the wrong images. Its not practical to close the eyes and walk inside. What if you bump into something? Or worse trip. I am gonna have to spend a lot of time in a good porn site and try and erase all those images out of my mind.


Karthik Sriram said...

dont start me on this hawkeye... ennoda school gym la oru vaati theriyama locker room kulla poitten..... yabba..... inime andha pakkam pogave maatein.


Vee said...

edho solluvaalae nondi kudhiraikku charakina saakku-nnu adhu maadhiri - Porn site browse panna ipdi oru kaaranamaa!

Deepa said...

Ewwww, not the fact, this post.;-)

Sowmya said...

@ vee - Haha..!


kutrala kuliyal parthirukela?

Neenga sonna athey difference parkalam.

yar yar, enge enge, eppdi eppdi irukalo, ange ange appdi appdi nama iruntha, yarum thappa eduthukka chance illa nu ippadi panratho?

Gym, kutralam falls, swimming pool ingelam social decorum parka pidatho..ennavo :P

SaintlyDevil said...

Hi Hawkeye,

I am a prospective application for Ross MBA class of 2010. I wonder if you can spare sometime to chat about the school and your experiences and share any tips for the application process. We can communicate via this blog, but I'd appreciate if you we can have a phone chat. You can also drop me a note at padmanabhankk(at)gmail(dot)com.


I said...

idhukku dhan naan gym pakame poradhu illa.

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

hahahah... I too had the shock for the first time I came here. But have grown used to it now :)

Babu said...

my German mate says during winter time they enjoy sauna a lot, and guess wat they do it naked. Its like family get together food, sauna and rest, then sauna, food and drink, later may be football...All Naked, thats correct in front of the whole family....I'm sure every Indian wud have excited Johnson ther :-)

Hawkeye said...


Ive no other choice. i gotta go




aah! why the post. Ewww for telling the truth?


in all those situations people arent actually completely naked. i agree with 'be roman in rome' but why is rome like that.

saintly devil,

sure send me an email @


every dog has its day


i can never get used to it.


imagine the plight of people who dont want to be seen naked :-)

Ram said...


Gosh.. it was weird when I first noticed it at school here but as you say, it is never anything I could get used to. Did you not have an irresistible urge to join the gang??

I know I felt it going down to nothing for a few seconds just for the heck of it as an exercise to get myself to do one thing that I could not, but just could not get myself to do it :-)

Karthik Sriram said...

Naanum gym pakkam poren - but not the locker room - poi treadmill la odittu, apdiye veetuku odi poi kulikaradhu better nu realise panniten.


Hari N Iyer said...

my gym was in the same building as work and within 6 months i had seen my entire team naked !!!!

the visuals help when u are laughing at ur team members secretively ! :)))

Creativity Crunch! said...

U talking about Pro Sports Club,aren't u??

Anonymous said...

i would love to go to your gym!! i love to go aroung naked every chance i get even if it in front of people!!

AHSAN said...

When I joined my Swimming club for the first time here in London, I was utterly shocked a person completely naked in the mens locker room. I thout he might be sum crazy fella. but as soon as i entered, i saw that everyone was naked,, fuckin hell.. and it seemed that every one was acting normal.. i felt very uncomfortable..

Stuart said...

I don't think guys being naked around other guys is weird. It used to be a lot more common outside of the locker room than it is now, guys used to swim naked in the pool! If anything, I think more guys these days just need to loosen up. I know guys who go skinny dipping when they go camping, and if some guys get naked at an all guys party, I don't see anything wrong with that. And the locker room, of all places, is specifically designed for being naked. At least most guys are still comfortable with that.

Austin said...

i couldn't agree more. towelstrong.

Austin said...

i couldn't agree more. towelstrong.