If life was a game of poker and if a pregnant woman is like a Full House (how appropriate) then having to
a) Scratch the twins, now and then, should be Four of a Kind
b) Aim and piss, standing up should be a Straight Flush.
c) Walk around and deal with the terribly over-anxious and excitable Mr. Johnson during teenage years; with his over-exposure to sunlight and his constant sniping of "A pair of hands. That's the best you could do" - should be considered a Royal Flush.
These three should be the ultimate repartee that any gender can give to the other. Then the woman will have to just groan and pay up.
Ha! Poker is Pun!
P.S: Poker Rules