Saturday, January 19, 2008

Men: The Toilet Mile

" We are men! Throughout history, we have always needed, in times of difficulty, to retreat to our caves. It so happens that in this modern age, our caves are fully plumbed. The toilet is, for us, the last bastion, the final refuge, the last few square feet of man-space left to us! Somewhere to sit, something to read, something to do, and who gives a damn about the smell? Because that, for us, is happiness. Because we are *men.* We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop. We do not own magazines fill of pictures of celebrities with all their clothes *on*. When we have conversations, we actually take it in turns to talk! But we have not yet reached that level of earth-shattering boredom and inhuman despair that we would have a haircut *recreationally*. We don't know how to get excited about... really, *really* boring things, like ornaments, bath oil, the countryside, vases, small churches. I mean, we do not even know what, *what* in the name of God's *ass* is the purpose of pot-pourri! Looks like breakfast, smells like your auntie! Why do we need that? So please, in this strange and frightening world, allow us one last place to call our own. This toilet, this blessed pot, this... fortress of solitude. You girls, you may go to the bathroom in groups of two or more. Yet we do not pass comment. We do not make judgment. That is your choice. But we men will always walk the toilet mile... alone. "


9 comments:

Arun Sundar said...

lol...good one :)

chica said...

Haa.. oh this is amazing. You just reminded me of how much I enjoyed watching Coupling. I have to find myself the DVD's for it.

Arvind said...

Yea for Coupling! Too bad they discontinued the series, I have every single episode on DVD! :)

I said...

ayyo pavame.

Krishnan said...

Amen to every single word.

Gasquet Fan said...

I saw that guy in movie, 'talented mr. ripley'

Rishi Agarwal said...

Too gud !!

This was the first episode of Coupling that I saw on Star World, back then. I liked this dialogue so much, it made me hook onto Coupling

Very Very funny and true !

zep said...

AMEN to that!!!

Only recently did I see the first season of Coupling, and was surprised that the stupid-boring guy from POTC actually could do comedy, and be good at it.. :)

cheers!

Ram said...

Inime Hawkeye thaan Thalaivan :-)

I have watched all the episodes at least twice. Have you seen the episode where Steve talks about how men love naked bottoms? That is one of the best lines I have heard on TV.