Desi students in America on F-1 visa who talk incessantly about US politics.
This category is 10 levels worse than jobless tea kadai vettis talking about Indian politics. You know the people who'd attend every panchayath meeting just for the gossip. 50,000 levels worse than people who idolize cinema stars. Because the other categories know that they are vetti. These US politics analyzing F-1 desis ( I am willing to excuse all other categories) think they are doing some super intellectual stuff. They constantly are on my face advising me that I will get 'Jenma Sabulyam' by knowing US Politics. If Gaundamani met these folks he would have said "vote illatha naaye. Unakke ivalavu pecha. Mudittu poda". Its like a Rajinikanth fan telling me that its my national duty to watch first-day-first-show. For people who are trying to impress a fellow desi, a fellow desi with no US vote, the importance of US politics - Just Shut up. You don't have a vote, I don't have one, what you are saying is not funny or entertaining. Its certainly not useful to me. Politics is boring. So - Just Shut up.
Let me level-set my knowledge here. I don't know what 'left' and 'right is in politics. Someone spoke to me for 30 minutes trashing the 'right' 'wingers'. He had gone on with such gusto and such seriousness that I felt sad, when I interrupted and asked him if he was a 'left-handed batsman'. His voice faltered and he got a little unsure and said he meant the political-left. I asked him "what the hell is that?" and he didn't know. He said CPI(M) and something about Russia, world map but he didn't know. I didn't know. So what were we talking about? I told him "Look! I buy 'The Hindu' for the Sports Page and to know which cinema was running where. I have never read the first page". That was it. As soon as I said that - I was regarded as a person with no depth. What depth? Why are these 'paaltics' makkal so obsessed with converting others into political analysts? Reminds me of boring kazha-bolt old people who would never switch off news and let me watch something fun.
Very many years ago, I was finishing up on grad school, was doing the thesis thing, was sick of student life and was generally looking forward to joining the work force. There were bums in my batch who talked about things like 'American Vs Indian culture' and 'why dating is bad'. They started talking about it in the International Student Orientation as soon as they landed. They didn't stop even when their house in the desi ghetto was quarantined by a health inspector. They would constantly have these strong opinions and on what everybody from Rashtrapathi Bhavan to Saravana Bhavan should be doing. They'd give advise to US President, NSA and all those people on what should America do about this issue, what should India do about that issue. They'd actually give advise to someone who is trying to become the president of a country.
One such student was my favorite. He was an idiot much like our Sabnis fellow but slightly more coherent. He would accost hapless white folks (some were just white not even US Citizens) and ask them "why did the US do this policy?" and bore them to death with politics. He would assume a single US guy represented the entire country of America, the country's politicians, its policies and argue with that fellow on all the dimensions. He would also assume he represented India as a whole, whenever he got into arguments with the white man, and use the "we" word 50,000 times ("etho India'la ellarum ivane kettu senja mathiri") - like "we implemented this policy strategically" or "we thought long and hard about SEZ". Apparently 'we' refers to India and he is talking on behalf of the country. Who would have guessed that? I initially thought he joined with his worn-out non-stick tava, his porn-filled second hand PC, and Jasmine rice bag to form his own country. But No. He was referring to a larger country with actual people and stuff. The truth is nobody except his aaya and school principal knows him in India. The lab mates would run away from him and for next 10 days they'd be watching out for him and avoiding him. They'd phone me and ask if he was around before coming to the lab.
P.S: Dear disgruntled Sabnis blog readers. Food for thought. He has called people not interested in Primaries as "jackasses". I suspect 99% of you folks who read him aren't interested in the said Primaries. Are you jackasses? :-).