Friday, June 20, 2008

Movie Review: Sex & The City: So this is how Women Porn looks like!

Several (several) years ago, when one walked into small-ass theaters that screened "adult" movies such as Sirocco, Aval, and 'The swan in Love' (OzDude - ahem! Ahem!) - one would never find women in the theater. Probably women found the movies or the people watching these movies objectionable. Sex and the City, I suppose, is the equivalent of 'matter padam' for women. It drones on and on about feelings and emotions. There were also some 'bit' scenes about some designer handbags, designer bridal dress, which evoked howls and serious squeals of applause from the women crowd. Men subject to a screening of this movie would become eligible to apply for POW privileges. Permanent turn-off.

I badly wanted to watch Iron Man. Everybody I knew had seen that movie. So I bartered to give company for this movie for a return favor to see Iron Man. That was how, I found myseelf being dragged in to a screening of Sex and the City. While walking into the movie hall - I was more scared than I was in those good old 'Raja theater' days. I was hoping nobody would see me. I also counted the number of men in the hall. There were 6 men including me. The movie hall was one scary place. With a movie hall full of women - 'silence please and switch off mobile phones' don't mean anything. Zero impact. Most of the women kept talking on the cell phone or talking to each other discussing the dress those 4 on-screen women were wearing.

This movie was as realistic to me as 'Independence Day' or Star Wars. It is so far out there from my world. All the talk about 'feelings' got me wondering if New York was Battle Star Galactica and these 4 women were invaders from Alpha Centauri. If women don't get why men watch porn then I should say - men don't get why women watch its "artistic" counterpart. Jillu is correct when she says, one must've watched the TV Series to get this movie. I have that great qualification. For the past 2-3 years I have suffered this TV series like no other man. Runs, re-runs, day-long HBO marathons has been played in my living room and sometimes I had no choice but to watch it. I know the basic plot. Before the movie started, I was filled in by my resident expert on what had happened so far. I was so up-to-date that I felt I knew better than Sarah Jessica parker, when she did a title sequence voice-over to bring the other 5 men in the movie hall up to date. "oh! she left out all those superb details" was what all the 300 odd women fans in the theater said when Sarah was done. To enjoy this movie, one must get into the mood and vibe of the TV series. Which means you need to be extremely patient and not scowl when a discussion about relationship takes 10 minutes and is quickly followed by another discussion on 'empowered women', and another 10 minutes on 'honesty and women' and another one on 'happiness and women'.

This movies starts off from where the TV series ended. Carrie Bradshaw, the author of the column 'sex and the city' and its associated boring novels, decides to move in with Mr.Big and that leads to marriage. The whole movie revolves around this plot, Carrie's Page 4 features, her dreams of a perfect marriage, he dress choices, her gay wedding planner, Big's last-minute nervousness and the triumph of true love over lavish weddings. If you aren't screaming in excitement at this point then wait. There is more. Charlotte, my favorite of the 4 girls (because and only because she is hot) is pregnant finally. So the movie tracks her fear to eat food in Mexico, he fear of running while pregnant, her sense of contentment. She even poops in her dress. I guess you get it by now. Samantha, on the other hand, is with her Hollywood boyfriend in LA. She feels less empowered and does not want to be a second fiddle to her actor boyfriend, who places 'feelings' above sex. She wants to be in control of her life even at 50. I think this is a pitch on liberated women. So understandably, she is extremely turned on by her neighbor who does it with different women everyday. Miranda is very busy with work and hasn't had sex with her husband for over 6 months. So much so that she has let hair (gasp! horror!) grow on her legs like a "national forest". Her husband in a moment of weakness sleeps with some one else. So her story revolves around how he still loves her and if all his 'apologizing is enough to erase mistakes'.

There you go. This is Sex and City - the movie. The countless women in the theater were howling and clapping for many scenes. Scenes that were as interesting as watching the cow dung dry on my Mambalam milkman's wall. In case the boredom prevented one from getting it - this is a movie that tries to bring out some sort of irony by showing the wants of one woman, which the other women have but don't want. The only scene I liked was when Mr. Big doesn't show-up for the wedding. As for the movie, it is was a punishment. Well worth it because I liked Iron Man.


jeffjose said...

Nice article.

PS: Is there a typo in the title ?

Satyajit said...

Thanks for the review my friend. Saved me the misery....
Most women I feel would share your sentiment at a subconscious level but would not accept it. For example when the digital world explored and porn was available on CD's, it was a sin to say "dude, lets go play football, am bored of porn".
I did see S&TC on TV for sometime. My male brain interpreted it as women who are perpetually horny and have "love me, love me" written all over their faces.

Chenthil said...

Sirocco - compulsory part of the curriculum for any engineering college student of the 1990s.

Pradeep Kumar said...

Scenes that were as interesting as watching the cow dung dry on my Mambalam milkman's wall.

ROTFL.. Good one.. :)

IdeaSmith said...

LOL. I disagree but I'm sympathetic.

anantha said...

I must be the only person who has not seen Sirrocco, but then it must have been old syllabus and i ignored it ;)

I went to another movie this past week where an African American woman who came and sat next to me and a friend recounted a story about how she and 20 of her colleagues went to watch SATC and one single man who had come into to see the movie insisted on sitting in the same row among them and the resulting chaos delayed the movie by 20 minutes because he refused to move to a different row ;) The story gave me the shivers.

I said...

indha kaalathu pon kuzhandhel ellam...onnum seri illa.

Maha said...

dude!! you gotta drink 1 beer!

Sundar Narayanan said...

I have found a way out of this type of misery

what you need is a sibling or cousin or distant cousin who is in the same "married" state.

that means the guys can go with guys for ironman and the women can all have their night out for the girly movies.

hopefully both the couples have kids around the same time and the guys watch the kids when girls go out and girls watch the kids when guys go out!

Has worked wonderfully for us.. to date we have not taken our kids to any desi movie where Kamal is on a rampage slaughtering every rowdy in town and two dozen kids start screaming in unison in surround sound!

thank god for small favors.

find another dude in your area who has the same movie tastes as you..


unless of course......

Sriram said...

Nothing sums up the whole series like this video.

Sriram said...

And this one too.

Teena said...

u claim u were forced to watch the TV series, were you tied on a chair with ur eyes open or wat ...
You think women don't fantasize? guys do watch women oriented movie but do not dare to admit it's good, male ego !!! I know Ash Line experiment, do u ?
Gimme a break, don't tell me you didn't know how women porn looks like until u watched this movie.

blackaccord said...

I had to sit thru' a few episodes of sex and the city myself and imo, sarah jessica parker is one overrated female... i certainly can't sit through it for 1.5 hours.. I would recommend 'Kung Fu Panda' for those who want to escape from this..

Friendly Stranger said...

Nice one.......
It's horrible to see the crap women enjoy watching....
Kinda similar to saas-bahu..LOL...rather it's more advanced version on women's watch list arena!

Anonymous said...

Dude- when you go to watch a movie like Sex and the city, u know what to expect. I think u have an issue with the rest of the world in general :-)
If its not something u can relate to or interpret or agree upon, it becomes unacceptable..

Anonymous said...


I agree with you.

Trying to be different is some guys way of seeking attention.

Babu said...

I don't remember that one....
how about "Thirutu purusham loafer pondati" kamala, or "Color of the Night" in devi, forgot the one in casino...and yeah do u remember the one where kids (boy n gal obviously) get marooned in a island and explore human body as the movie progresses

Hawkeye said...

All peepul,

porn was just a metaphor. For men porn is porn. For women, by porn I meant "meanigful" conversation and other emotional parapenalia.


there was a typo . thanks


actually SATC as I mentioned above provides emotional context and conversations surrounding it. It gratifies women a lot.


:-). Very true. I am tempted to expand the boundries to high school student/engineering college student. But I'll let it pass.






it was released in thanjavur before you went there :-)

that theater anecdote is funny. I appreciate that man.


ellam kali gaalam.


and watch rambo movies.

sundar narayan,

yes. i was thinking of the same thing. many small kids started crying and got afraid after seeing dasavatharam. the first 10 mins itself grossed them out. intersting how censor board works.


:-) nandri hai.


/* were you tied on a chair with ur eyes open or wat ... */

stop it! you are arousing me.

black accord,

actually i had this thing towards sara jessica parker. everybody made fun of me. some how when she was young(er) I found her attractive.

friendly stranger,

yes its a more advanced version of mega serials. but i would say crap is a harsh assesment.

ravinder & jalra,

yes. very strange! Today is monday.


your memory is amazing. the movie you are searching for is 'blue lagoon'. Brooke shields.

Anonymous said...

Bad man, you should have put a spoiler alert.

I am not a fan, but unavoidably I ended up watching the whole series, even though I hated the characters.


Vijay Kumar said...

I just want to know who wins the IP war here. I forgot your blog entry entirely.

Hawkeye said...

Vijay kumar,

there you go. mangalam paadiyachu to so called IP war. deleted all comments surrounding it.

Vijay Kumar said...

Err.. Thanks! :)
Just wanted to rub it in that I got to watch Iron Man and my wife had sis-in-law for company to watch SATC.
I've watched the odd episode of the original HBO series (not the censored syndicated version - which was pointless). Some of the dialogues were quite good - remember Kim Catrall's 'I am trisexual' line.
Hope you get to watch Iron Man soon!

Vijay Kumar said...

Oops. Looks like you've already seen Iron Man.
naan sonnadha azhichudungo

Anonymous said...

jillu, of course, said it is a Rajni movie for American women.

Anonymous said...

oh trust me....the romantic novels are much much better porn material than any you let your imagination run wild...really wild;)

Anonymous said...

Yo! Don't agree with anything in this review from title to last full stop, but was too tired to argue with you.


Anonymous said...

you said:
>>For women, by porn I meant "meanigful" conversation and other emotional parapenalia.

hahaha, it's pretty clear why you aren't a house house-husband yet! and you won't get there by thinking only of "parapenalia". Far too selfish!

sexy said...