After Navjot Sidhu was fired, Gavaskar was largely expected to fill the gaping void called the "buffoon commentator". However, not many expected him to out beat Sidhu in the subject of "probability and random theory". Gavaskar has redefined both "probability" and "random theories" better than Sidhu. Leading journal "Vaara Malar Thoonukku Mootai" has been conducting a poll on "Greatest Idiot to have embarrassed India in the name of patriotism" for the past 100 years. Gavaskar has strongly announced his intention to win this award for the 5th straight year. His fantastic efforts to show his "genuine patriotism" for India was reflected in his nitpicking and in his irrelevant, insignificant and immature (The 3 I's) comments on Ponting, Ponting's underwear and Pontings dirty finger nails. If Gavaskar wins this award, he would be 2 short of Navjot Sidhu's 7-year winning streak.
15 time award winner Y.G. Mahendran was extremely disappointed with Gavaskar's comments. He went on to call his tactics "under arm tactics" and laughed all by himself for a few minutes. Y.G.Mahendran sympathisers argued that by Gavaskar was trying to cheat the poll by expanding his stupid observations to realms outside of cricket. "Avar saar Y.G was disciplined and stuck to one area. Sunny saar is cheating" was their karagosham. Y.G. Mahendran disclosed that, for quite some time, he had been dreading the possibility of Gavaskar saying something incredibly and mind-numbingly stupid. Gavaskar's desperation to blabber anti-Ponting comments reminded Mahendra of his childhood experiences and forced him to do a quick dash to Pazhani and seek divine intervention. But it was of no avail. Mr. Pazhani Malai Muruga couldn't prevent the inevitable from happening.
After Gavaskar had made a series of desperate attempts to criticise just about anything Ponting did, a Kabali times reporter was stunned to hear Gavaskar criticise Ponting's coin-toss capabilities. While commentating with Mark Nicholas he said, "Ricky Ponting always call heads when he tosses. A 50 paisa Indian coin can be tossed in such a way that it will fall down as tails. Ponting's strategy of calling "heads" always is very stupid. If you practice hard enough you can make the coin fall the way you want it to and easily defeat Ponting in the toss". Mark Nicholas, after recovering from a massive cardiac arrest, attempted to confirm if Gavaskar was kidding. Sunny bhai put the matter to rest by saying "if you practice hard enough 9 times out of 10 it will fall the way you want".
Author's Note: The last Paragraph is not a work of fiction. Gavaskar really said that about 30 minutes prior to lunch on Day 1 of 2nd Test.