Thursday, March 26, 2009

On Vayishaal

Have you seen a TV show where the hosts invite a "legend", a "veteran" or a very accomplished person in any field (usually it is from "cinema" or "cricket") as a "guest"? The host or regulars of the show feel this need to bend down and lick the ass of this very accomplished guest. Now, I get the whole "respect" thing. It is not bad idea to respect a person who has achieved something significant. Let us say you brought Steven Spielberg to a small-time TV show, you'd definitely see 'awe' and 'respect'. What is annoying here is too much respect. If you think there cannot be 'too much' respect, you cannot be more wrong. Case in point - any Tamil TV show when some big celebrity like SPB or K.B or even Malaysia Vasudevan is a "guest".

At that time what is needed - to keep the momentum and the tempo of the audience interest at a high - is some sort of dignity and class in what you say to this guest. This is when the host/regulars of the show have to leave a lot of things unsaid. There is no need, absolutely no need, really really really no need, really really really really really no need to freakin' praise this accomplished person repeatedly. Just don't say the obvious. We know he is great. The host need not inform us that Monday comes after Sunday with great thrill and thunder. It is simply not entertaining. It makes me want to get on stage and spit on the host's face, slap her and ask her to shut up. Having a distinguished guest is an opportunity to ask a nuanced question, it is a chance to allow the guest to describe a particular aspect of his work that requires a lot of effort but is rarely noticed. Something along the lines that freakin' tells us that the hosts of the show and the audience have some semblance of intelligence.

Instead what we see is the hosts crawl on the floor and lick the fungus of this guest's boots. They make it an eulogy session where they don't talk anything substantive but heap platitudes upon platitudes on the person. It is a dumb While (1) { (begin praise) - praise - (end praise)} session. Thamizh people, especially, need to stop this habit of gushingly praise someone for hours together. It is an ungainly sight to see something like this;

Host: Sir you are super.
Guest:No..no.. all is god's grace and luck. I am not super.
Host: how can you of all people say this sir..imagine what you have done.. you are indeed - super!
Guest: no... no.. don't say that. there are other people who have done so much.. really i am not super.

You cannot believe the number of shows that has gone on and on with the above in infinite loop. The host does not even say in good detail an interesting aspect of what the guest has done. She simply says he has done "great things". The host is apparently thrilled to meet someone of this stature. She is overawed and is focussing totally on expressing her "personal" over-awe'edness here. Here is the thing you moron of a host! "this song ain't about you". Look at us here - the audience. Keep the focus on the audience. I can't believe people would like to see a show with no content. Who would want to see two people fight over whether one of them deserves to be praised or not? For once I wish someone would STFU and switch the script to say something like;

Host: Seri okay.. you are a sumba koo, idiot, makku plasthri
Guest: Okay you are right. Please lick my boot. I'll watch. And 'yes'. I am a "big hair". I am the greatest ever.

16 comments:

Alan Smithee said...

Equally dubious - who the fuck calls pepsi Uma to tell her "300 varushama try panninen, ippo dhaan line kedachadhu"? When she started saying "appidiya da kanna, unakku enna paatu venum" to college kids, she must have retired.

MLC said...

vijay tv shows paakaravangaley ippadi kadichi thuppina, appo sun tv shows paakaravanga yenna pannanumo????

Maddy said...

Uma..The most overrated/annoying "celebrity (!!??)" of TN..Don't she ever give up..BTW, who are these guys still wasting time calling her!! LOL

Coffee with Anu is hosted better (though i had seen only clips in youtube)

Gradwolf said...

hehehe vayishal is the word!

Not a single person on Tamil television is natural. Anu is ok to an extent, but the rest, I don't know. Ellan orru script and that is total shit.

And SPB, on Anu and various other shows, Uma of course all the time, I've noticed the vayishal praise. But Kamal endha show? Did he come on super singer?

Hawkeye said...

gradwolf,

Kamal did a show a few years before that showcased Kamal as a singer. Kamal?ramesh Arvind was the host of the show and they invited SPB as a guest. you can consider that 10-15 minutes as a nested vayishal with ramesh arvind licking Kamal's ass and amal licking SPB. kandraavi

Anonymous said...

Machi,

coffee with anu romba pakariyo?

i can understand if she vazhingufy with people like KB, Kamal etc.

but YG... man i could not stand it....

-Ganesh

Anonymous said...

As a secondary irritant, Anu's wardrobe is the cause for increasing blindness among Indians.

Valli Doll said...

Pepsi Uma and now there is this Ramya also...all of them are the same..they talk only non sense. Even in their dressing sense they are really bad.

Freehit said...

"She is overawed and is focussing totally on expressing her "personal" over-awe'edness here. " - Well put.

It is one thing if the invited guest is really accomplished and gets his boots licked clean. Imagine watching the likes of "Kadhal" Sandhya, Laila, Simbhu getting a clean up job!

I'd say Chinmayee was a good host and could carry herself well.

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...

To delve in to the psychology here, I think Indians, in particular, Tam-s are more interested in praising/worshipping somebody rather than actually try to take something good from that successful person and implement that in our life - That is why you see the most hero worship happening in tamizh cinema where imbeciles like Ajit and Vijay have fan gumbals - I do not know one thing which they done in their 30 odd years which warrants these pal abishegams/payithiyakara-thanams.

On the blogpost, yes, almost unanimously all TV Show hosts end up licking somebody's shoes. Anu Haasan is the best amongst worst - but even she ends up being vayishal at times. In my limited memory, the only interviewer who was quite good was Yuhi Sethu - but then his program format and theme demanded that he kalaichify every celebrity which he did. But I think he has a soft corner for Kamal Haasan and tries to lick KH's ass.

Maddy said...

Also, if the hosts really want to ask some genuine questions, they may end up like what Vijay did it in Trichy meet...His anger was raw,brutal and completely spoilt his image. The TV hosts who are of course small fish are afraid of the "sharks"..

10 years back there used to be a political show host in SUN TV. I forgot his name but he was the inspiration for Arjun's TV Talkshow host role in Mudhalvan.. That guy has guts and never afraid of his guests..

sreekrishnanv said...

actuall athu samma kalaai , nee great nee great nu pathu vaati sonna, 11th time you feel did i ever do somrthing ...

I think in a way - we need to invite people who think they are great hair pluckers to such vazhisals...

sreekrishnanv said...

i think Madhan was at times good - when he tried interviewing Dharani after Kuruvi.

though he to vazhinjifies, he knows to hide it. Sophisticated Vazhisal..

Chinmayi is good .. and Anu Hassan is good most of the time.

That Baski (hari Giri assembly was good) .. he kind of blasts every one in the name of comedy

Every other Sun TV/Sun Music/Kalignar TV host ....

KM said...

OT - Did you see DK's horrible keeping in the Napier test? He gets a chance by luck and he does horribly. Now when he gets dropped, many Tams will again say that selection is unfair to them and Chika will get blamed.

anrb said...

I have thought about this several times and agree with everything you said here. Its not only the hosts but also the participants who overact and try to be so humble. you can see every single participant holding the mike with both of their hands as if they bowing and for every single statement of the judge they bow their head and say thank u thank u couple of times. Another frequent gesture is keeping one hand on the heart and taking a bow. its so artificial. Yes you have to respect judges but there is a limit for that.

Anonymous said...

And one more thing to add to that is , all the participants and the host touch the Guest's feet to get his/her blessings...If the guest is some senior person like SPB , KB etc. its still ok...But what if the guest is only a 1-movie old heroine !!!!

- Kunta kinte