Sitting on my couch in front of the TV, I feel like James Tiberius Kirk on the USS Enterprise who sits all day in his couch staring intently and purposely at the huge monitor in front of him. A couch in front of the TV is the ultimate nirvana. It is my calling. It is the final frontier. To sit on the couch and not do anything until I fall asleep is like going where no man has gone before.
This is when Klingons around you try and assign work somehow.
"Hey one request" says the wife and the mind suddenly becomes alert. Red alarms are flashing all around the USS enterprise. All hands on deck now. The emptiness wrapped around your mind is in danger of being eroded. Impending attack by work can be expected anytime now. Obviously, the emptiness, this natural force field that surrounds you as you slack in your couch, has extra-ordinary uses. It shields your ear from dangerous audio signals emanating out of your wife. So you don't hear her the first 72 times she said "hey one request". If you are hearing it now that must mean some damage to life-support system has happened. Either the TV has been switched off or the TV audio has been muted. Danger Will Robinson!!!. Danger Will Robinson!!!. Danger Will Robinson!!!.
At these moments one must be careful to avoid giving a weak answer to any sort of question that is posed. Wife is like the Klingon whose intelligence can evolve with your laziness. Innocuous questions like "is tomorrow Thursday" should be treated with utmost caution. A casual affirmative response could mean that "oh! then you have to drop off the Mixie in Renuka's house today as she is cooking a big dinner tomorrow". Work hits you like a neutron beam hitting the StarShip's energy canisters. "Are you going to office tomorrow" is an extremely dangerous question. Answers must be vague and non-specific such as "work is extremely tight and getting more and more complicated". If the Klingon says "then can you throw away garbage when you go out tomorrow" you can be prepared for a bullet-speed answer "which is why I am working form home tomorrow to avoid any distraction"
All your answers must end with "can I go back to watching TV now. I am actually thinking about a problem at work". If the Klingon was your mom she'd be zapped in seconds at that response. She'd withdraw her forces, call up her sister and say "my poor boy! he is so stressed from work". But the new Klingon is a different beast. It will test you out. "Can you remove the baby's finger from the power socket", "can you remove the dripping coffee mug from the carpet and wash it" "can you switch off the stove" "can you call 911". So many "can you.." questions come flying at you like missiles. You need to be at your wits end to somehow answer all these questions in such a way that will ensure that you continue to remain ensconced in your temple.
An amateur SBI officer is the only one who will begin a sentence with "can you.." inside the temple. Forbidden works spoken only when the remote control for one of the supplementary electronic equipment has been forgotten in the dining table. This is when the initiation ritual begins. An man who can convince the Klingon to get that remote, without him having to get out of the couch would have earned his place in the exclusive club. Here is a man among men. One who will not be required to do laundry or grocery. One who will eat his dinner on the couch and keep the plate underneath it. One who will ultimately become - the SBI officer.