Saturday, September 11, 2010

Monster Inc

When I was bachelor, the only piece of furniture in my house was a Futon. I put that in front of my TV in the living room and pretty much sat, ate, slept, there watching TV. The TV was strategically placed so that it also faced the kitchen. So in case I had to cook or walk to the kitchen to get something, I could continue watching TV. Since I went to bathroom only during commercial breaks I ensured that 'real' T.V. time never got reduced. I was mostly alone at home. The silence was golden. It was just me and my thoughts. If my thoughts were another person then I would say he was louder than me. We developed radical ideas together, replayed great cricketing moments, and rewrote movie scripts to fit thamizh milieu. Our lives revolved around TV programs and movie releases. We were particularly proud of one piece of electronic equipment. The Bose LifeStyle II Audio and Home Theater system. We would wonder how William tell symphony sounded without the Surround feature turned on or how the small strings in 'Pachai Nirame' song came out so clearly in this system. This is the only piece of electronic equipment that survived my bachelor days.

I bought this with my first month's salary. A few years ago my newly married wife carelessly dropped the remote causing it to get scratched. The consequent domestic squabble caused the man and woman of the household to not speak for an amount of time - prescribed as appropriate for cold war silence by the Board of marriage - before the man of the house relented and apologized. The concept of wife has often been commented upon in Solomon Pappaiyah patti mandrams and S. Ve. sekhar dramas. And what Raja says to Paappaiyah is true. Wife is audit/investigative/controls & compliance unit. The unit is programmed that way and the unit will execute. No matter what. The unit could not compute the presence of this other person in our life - my thoughts/day dreams/drift-offs. Looking back it was inevitable that thoughts and wife wouldn't get along. She quickly found out that he was a competitor. And constantly kept asking him 'who are you'? Thoughts didn't like being interurupted. Especially when he was telling me to spot all the small little sounds that ARR puts in his tracks. Then one day he got up and went away. Wife unit then began to constantly switch off the music and shut down the laptop and said 'let us talk'. But I wasn't used to talking. Thoughts was the one who talked a lot and he went away.

Fast forward to now. It has been about 3 months since I switched on my TV. Maybe more. I would have been sure if I knew what date today was. I don't listen to songs anymore. The last ARR album I purchased was Ayidha Ezhutthu. I have a little monster running around like E.T. on steroids pulling out parts of my DVD player, keyboard, sub-woofer, TV, wireless router and Comcast Receiver. Yesterday I saw my Bose speakers being thrown down from their stands and the remote was getting repeatedly smashed against the wall. And all I was said was "No.. I said NO". E.T does not understand languages. It does not know what 'NO' means ( I actually believe toddlers think 'no' means 'clap clap'). I could have snorted instead and it would have made as much sense. But i wasn't angry at my remote getting totally smashed. Thoughts might have been very angry. But he doesn't live here anymore.

27 comments:

m said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZWRFxBWsao

Sundar Narayanan said...

thoughts now moved to your bachelor neighbours house..

I think our elders were very wise..

they had 12 year cycles when the life expectancy was probably 48 years.

12 years as a kid. then 12 for learning/ getting married

12 for "family life" and then 12 to retire to the forest..

you dont have thoughts the first 12 years.
then he comes into your life
exits it for another 12
you dont care much for thoughts for the last 12

now that the life expectancy is 64.. maybe we should have 16 year cycles.

guessing by the fact that you are my wife's classmate.. you are already in stage 3..

so welcome to the club.

life thought free..

:)

ellam pazhagi poyidumaappa...

Sreekrishnan said...

Aaaha ! .. My house now is a LCD TV, PS 3 and a Bose speaker - got from my first Sal !All that i do apart from work is TV, Game or Movie ![and ofcourse internet !]

Obvious as is, any bachelor would have thoughts !

I am worried now ! Super worried !

Anonymous said...

great storytelling!!! One of your best posts

Ashwini said...

Really a good one :). Me and my husband had a good time reading your post.

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...

Very depressing thought that you have portrayed. Perhaps should look at trying to extend the B-days as long as possible.
I have a book and DVD collection that I fondly hope will stand the test of time. I don't want that test to include a 'monster' ;-)

Anonymous said...

Nice. I miss 'Thoughts' too. Sometimes I wish I were married to him ;). But the world would call it something else. ;)

-Vidya

Arvind said...

Haha! Nice one. I was just like you, if not more possessive about my gadgets! Now my toddlers trample and throw everything. Here's one example - had to move my PS3 and 360 out of their reach except when in use and even then my son is usually jumping on PS3 when a movie is playing. The remotes are cracked and chipped, but magically still function.
The TataSky remote here is the best - it is solid and I let my toddlers freely abuse it!

I said...

why title is Monster inc? Everyone is eventually got.

Filtered Sambhar said...

Beautiful!

Babs said...

How different we were laa daaa....back then even during our sjs square days....I always rock up at ur place to find u reading hardy boys, tin tin, famous five, etc, or watch DD......but u were happy to see me and ready to head out....same continued in college days too..ur mum used to hate me for that......:-)

My bachelor days in Oz was like uni, gym, play ground, theatre, kitchen and bedroom.....work years were similar, may be TV at times....

I'm guilty again of interrupting another lonely guy here who used to join me most of the time :-)
not sure why I was running away from loneliness.....

Great so Mayee did get me telepathy to be real demolishing derby :-D

MLC said...

monster??? adhu oru azhagaana kutti raakshashi nu sollunga!:-)

blackaccord said...

Thoughts?? What thoughts? As gowndamani would say 'avan kedaikka mattan...'

Alan Smithee said...

It's been a while since I
1. slept
2. shaved
3. had a good peaceful dump
4. drank (days that i drunk usually end up with sleepless nights and massive hangover)
5. watched TV
6. have been to a restaurant

Rema said...

Well put. A stray thought might breeze in some day, just leave the door open.

Anupadmaja said...

Ummm ... then what are the chances you wouldnt even notice your Bose speakers not being around any more?

Anonymous said...

Dude, you have it easy. We had preemie twins. Ok, I sound suspiciously like the Dilbert character, "Topper", who always oneups the other guys story, So I will keep quiet now.

elegantstroke said...

anon above,
exactly what i was going to say. we have 4 mo. twins and i can't even imagine the damage around the house in a few more months.

Neon said...

i'm getting a bose system with my first salary too :)

Anonymous said...

Thoughts thirumbi varanumna, go back 2 posts (one from Aug 24) and the title says it all !!

Adhu Seri said...

hakkie teetotaler. no quarter cuttings.

Anonymous said...

seriously dude.. my husband was just like you describe yourself to be. Half the time he was spaced-out and starting at the laptop or TV with a stupid smile on his face. When I talk to him he was in dreams that he wouldnt even listen properly.

Until I bashed up Mr.Thoughts sent him packing out of the house. Now everything is normal. i dont know why men do this or what they find so interesting in these thoughts. But we have married you in the hope that you are human beings. So behave like one. Selfish dodos.

TTM said...

I owe a big thanks to the Tondee-tondee gang for hijacking cricket. Marital bliss with good test cricket happening once in a few months. Harbhajan Sreesanth-a aranjaa paathukalam, the rest I dont care.

Thoughts(or Thaaths) is dead. I get my 20-30min daily fix of basketball bliss which keeps me going. It's a son so Cricket Slavery Innings 2 will anyway start in few years. Chucking + Underarm uruttals training going on currently.

Grab this one and enjoy indoors!

Raghu said...

Idhula ennoda paadu evvalavoo thevalai polarukke? But I bet there's a lot more to gain in the material/time sacrifices u r making today. Or so am hearing...enakenna theriyum Hawkai?!! Good one, nevertheless.

Kokki Kumarru said...

Thats life.

vicky said...

Lucky you. You get to blog atleast...wait till that is taken away..

After a really long time I visited your blog today read movie reviews (Devil, inception etc...) heard of them????

Anonymous said...

beautiful narration i must say....