Friday, August 03, 2012
Cycle of Life
For the past few weeks, I have been feeling this need to state a very core belief of mine. I have decided to succumb to that urge.I am not sure if I can state it well. But there is no harm in trying. This is what I want to say.
A person who willfully behaves in way that causes his/her parents, especially the mother, to experience (a) utter shame and embarrassment, (b) enormous heart burn and emotional suffering upon seeing/hearing about the actions of their offspring to the point where they feel that they have failed as a parent, (c) emotional trauma as a result of verbal abuse (by the son/daughter) (d) poverty, isolation or loneliness as a result of dereliction of duty by children to take care of their parents during their old age (e) poor health or inability to satisfy very basic needs (at an old age or earlier) as a result of dereliction of duty by their son/daughter (f) tangible or intangible loss of parent-child connection that is not repaired unto death ; Such a person will not prosper well in life and will have the same or worse fate befall them when they reach their old age (I don't mean this as a curse or wishful thinking - i intend it as a statement/conclusion).
Most parents will never wish bad things for their children even if the said parent/children combo fall in above category. Many parents may counter-intuitively offer blessings as a response to the situation. But I feel that even if the parent(s) are forgiving, it is ultimately immaterial to the fate of the children.
1. Sometimes in this blog, I do willfully state a conclusion of mine without sound argumentation. When I do so - it is because I feel I can intuitively connect whatever little argumentation I have to the conclusion I want to state. Under such circumstances, I do not write the extensive reasoning and make a clear connection between my assumptions, argumentation and conclusion because I do not have the time/patience/skill/methods/environment to do so. And most if not all those instances where I have done this were in the realm of time-pass things like general conversational logic or entertainment or cricket.
2. The above is a core-conclusion of mine that I have held for a while but I do not have any argumentation or assumption to back it up. I also do not consider as arising out of my religious affiliations (although one can claim that religion offers similar conclusions and i have seen texts where it does). In my case this purely arises out of what I think is a standard level of intuition any individual is bound to have when they get an opportunity to make 20 years of observation in a rather large extended family and circle of friends. The need to state it now came about because a distant relative of mine died in the last 20 days. I guess when people cannot put down the argumentation in words they tend to term it as 'belief'.
3. Some may feel this is very obvious. Some may think this is very old school. Regardless, I found this to be true in most if not all instances.
4. There are no exclusions or exceptions that I feel the urge to call out to the above stated conclusion. One cannot quantify the extent of hurt caused to parents. Most people assume this pertains to children's marriage decisions, which is true most of the times but not all of the times. Some assume this includes career decisions. Some assume this includes children living in foreign country while parents live in Indian old age homes. While, I feel that no parent will die in shame because their son chose engineering over MBBS - I'll leave the reader to draw whatever conclusions they see fit.
5. There is an obvious element of recursion here which we will reserve for another post another day.
6. I believe the converse to be true, assuming other necessary/sufficient conditions are met.