Friday, September 29, 2006


I am new to Orkut. I didn't even know how to leave scraps. But I was kind of laughing my ass off when I saw some of the personal profile/introductions, my cousins have put for themselves.

For instance Here is how my cousin likes to introduce himself.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life istough.It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A DEATH.What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You getkicked out because your too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work.You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.Youdo drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. Youbecome a little baby, you go back into the womb, Spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.

languages i speak: Navajo, Occitan, Breton, Cherokee, Ibibio, Cree
religion: Tenrikyo
political view: very right-conservative
humor: campy/cheesy, dry/sarcastic, clever/quick witted, friendly, goofy/slapstick, obscure, raunchy
fashion: alternative, casual, classic, contemporary, designer, minimal, natural, outdoorsy, smart, trendy, urban
smoking: heavily
drinking: heavily
pets: i don't like pets
living: alone, with roommate(s), with partner, with pet(s), with kid(s), with parents, friends visit often, party every night
hometown: HomelesS...Care of platforM

hair color: bald
build: large
body art: strategically placed tattoo, visible tattoo, pierced ears, pierced tongue, other piercing, navel ring
looks: mirror-cracking material
best feature: not on the list
turn ons: assertiveness, body piercing(s), candlelight, dancing, erotica, flirting, intelligence, long hair, public displays of affection, power, sarcasm, skinny dipping, tattoos, thrills, thunderstorms, wealth
five things i can't live without: air water food clothing shelter

education: Elementary
high school: yeah... used to get high in school...
college/university: university college
major: yeah... am 24 !!!
degree: B
occupation: V.O.

I feel there is a generation gap with me and these people.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Oldie But a...

Can anyone write this without the depth or experience in life....?

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

M.S, Pierce Brosnan, Manirathnam's Guru

Even if you have no clue what Carnatic Classical Music is all about, M.S needs no introduction. Neither does this song. But this so awesome. What more could one ask?

Pierce Brosnan is my favorite actor. I am saying this with a great and unblemished track record of hetrosexuality - He is one of the most handsome men I have seen. Remington Steel is one of my favorite TV Series. I have seen each episode close to 15 times (second only to M*A*S*H). Here is Pierce Brosnan, raw, young actor at the David Letterman show. He is more garrulous than what he is now. You can almost sense the fact that he is kind of jumpy. Here is some background info, which is not in this video, to set a context. He was approached by EON for the Bond role then but Michael Gleason the producer of Remington Steele refused to release him from the contract and as a result Brosnan lost the role to Timothy Dalton. We know what happened later. If only he had got Bond then. Look at him deny the whole thing in this interview. I can't believe he had problems with Stephanie Zimbalist (I am assuming Letterman was joking). They had such wonderful chemistry. Also seen in this video is Cassandra Harris, Brosnan's wife who passed away due to breast cancer. She was a bond girl in For your eyes only.

Here is Brosnan again making fun of Daniel Craig, the new Bond. I am huge fan of Bond too. You wake me up in the middle of the night and I can tell you the order of book & movie releases in chronological order.

The Remington Steele Song.

Manirathnam's Guru is my next most "majorly" expected movie of this year. It stars Aishu, Abhishek Bachan and Mithuda. He is making a Hindi movie this time around and it is not a bilingual in Tamil. I hope to God he does not dub it in tamil, like he did for Dilse. Here are some clips of Guru's shooting.

Shooting of Climax scene of Guru.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Thathuvam: Rule & Exception

Rule: It is extremely important to do well, academically, early on in life. Pedigree and brand name of undergraduate institution is more important than you think it is. Grades are more important than you think it is. The teachers, parents et all were right about the life-long effect of these things. The world rewards late bloomers much lesser than early bloomers. The world measures preparedness, sharpness and intellegence through pedigree, grades, and test scores. Anybody who thinks otherwise is stupid. Anybody who thinks things shouldnt be this way is a loser.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Michigan Back to #1: WSJ

Note: Instead of writing notes, I'll make a post on this topic later.

On Top Again

Michigan regained its No. 1 spot in the National ranking, as recruiters praised its graduates' work ethic and professional experience
September 20, 2006
Can Rwanda produce infant formula as an alternative to breast milk for HIV-positive mothers?
That was the question Mark Bailey, a second-year M.B.A. student at the University of Michigan, and his team members tackled last spring. For the group's multidisciplinary action project, Mr. Bailey spent about a month in Rwanda investigating the supply of milk, soy, vitamins and other raw materials and found that at this point the African nation would have to import most of them. But he and his classmates concluded that an infant-formula plant is still possible and that it could both improve the infant-mortality rate and promote new business development. Sponsored by the Clinton Foundation HIV/AIDS Initiative, the assignment addressed Mr. Bailey's interest in both nonprofit and international management. "With the Rwanda project during the school year and my summer internship working on strategies for Moroccan textile firms to enter the U.S. market," Mr. Bailey says, "I gained double the experience that many M.B.A.s get at other schools."
Looking Abroad

The Rwanda project represents a continuation of Michigan's commitment to practical experience in its M.B.A. program, as well as a recognition that it needs to provide students with more international opportunities. Indeed, in The Wall Street Journal/Harris Interactive survey, recruiters gave Michigan its lowest ratings for students' international knowledge and experience. Its highest scores were for students' teamwork and analytical and problem-solving skills. "We have succeeded in making about half of our action projects international, and we intend to continue to inject more international content into the curriculum," says Gene Anderson, associate dean for degree programs at Michigan's Ross School of Business. There will be more "in-country experiences" beyond the action projects, he adds, noting that students in a course on emerging markets recently traveled to Cuba.
The Ann Arbor school bounced back to No. 1 in the National ranking after a one-year absence, as survey respondents once again praised its graduates' work ethic and professional experience.
Michigan ranked second, behind Harvard Business School, when recruiters were asked to name M.B.A. programs that successfully incorporate practical learning. But based on his experiences at both schools, Robert Dolan, dean of the Ross School, would no doubt put Michigan first. A former marketing professor at Harvard, he says, "You see the limitations of its case-method approach when you move out of that culture." With Michigan's action projects, "we teach not just problem solving, but also opportunity, innovation and creativity by giving students projects that aren't clearly defined," Dr. Dolan says. "Some students get frustrated and say their project isn't well-defined, and we say, 'Yeah, that's sort of the point.' "

Although Michigan tries to avoid being pigeonholed as an automotive school, its connections to the state's auto industry clearly account for some of its appeal to recruiters. Andrew Chien, a survey respondent and president of Ricardo Strategic Consulting, North America, is pleased to find M.B.A.s at Michigan with prior experience in the auto business because they bring more credibility as consultants. "Talking the talk is especially important," he says, "as automotive clients move away from the generalist consulting model and seek specialists to assist them during this transformational period for the industry."
Jeffrey Uller, another survey respondent and a manager at General Motors Corp., also finds Michigan M.B.A.s "able to speak intelligently on all sorts of issues facing the industry, including health-care expenses, hybrid-vehicle strategy and new vehicle product development issues." Like many of the top-rated schools in the rankings, Michigan is considered more collegial than competitive. Wolverine M.B.A.s are "well-prepared for the interpersonal nature of business today," as one recruiter put it in this year's survey.
Alison Leff chose Michigan over other M.B.A. programs because she sensed a distinctive "community feeling." She says she "wasn't sure if that was just for show" during the application process. But she hasn't been disappointed. Because she came from the nonprofit world and lacked a strong grounding in finance, fellow students gladly spent an extra hour guiding her through thorny math problems and explaining their applicability in the real world. "There's a lot of kindness at Michigan," she says. "We often talk about collaboration and co-creating our educational experience here."

Although Michigan is a public university, its tuition rivals what the most elite private business schools charge. That keeps it competitive in the pursuit of top-flight, top-paid professors. In this year's recruiter survey, Michigan ranked among the top 10 business schools for excellence in teaching marketing, operations management, general management, corporate social responsibility, strategy, accounting and finance. John Shea, a survey respondent and marketing manager in PepsiCo Inc.'s sports group, finds that Michigan graduates fit well in the company's "cross-functional and networked" workplace because of their balance of marketing and general management skills. "Students are experienced, well-rounded and personable," he says. "The quality and depth of candidates at Michigan is amazing."
New Program
Michigan doesn't make the top 10 in the Journal survey for entrepreneurship, an area the school is taking steps to strengthen. "We're trying to put together a full portfolio of courses that take the students from identifying early-stage business opportunities to raising venture capital," says Dean Dolan. One new program is the Frankel Commercialization Fund, which allows M.B.A. teams to award seed money to students, faculty and researchers with health-care and technology inventions. Michigan is just two years away from realizing its dream of a new business-school building. The $145 million project, which got under way this summer after three old buildings were razed, will feature new technology and more group study rooms and communal space that fit the school's team project focus.
School officials were concerned that applications might drop during the construction phase, but they actually rose 11% for this fall's entering class. "When we were on the road meeting prospective students, we told them they would still have a great experience," Dr. Dolan says. "We wanted to be sure to protect the M.B.A. program and give it the best available space." For now, the M.B.A. program has relocated to several other buildings, including the school's executive-education center and hotel. "The faculty offices in the hotel are quite nice and even have their own private bathrooms," says Dr. Anderson, the associate dean. "Now, I don't know if we'll ever get professors to move to the new building."
URL for this article:


See snapshots of top schools2 and highlights from the rankings3. Plus see profiles on the top schools:

National picks:

Regional picks:
International picks:

Noise Reduction Ear Phones, Cell Phones and Planes

I was at a dinner yesterday night and was having a conversation with a person about his work. We were talking about travel and I casually mentioned if he had tried out the latest noise reduction earphones that Sony and Bose have 'recently' introduced. Noise reduction earphones (I own the Sony ones) reduce and eliminate the white noise that comes from the airplane drone. If you put on the headphones and switch on the noise reduction feature you will go through an awesome experience. The din of the plane would suddenly disappear as if it has been erased and you would hear the music clearly as if you were in your living room. Even when you are not playing anything, you can switch on this feature and go to sleep peacefully. The person, I was speaking to, travels a lot as part of his job. He said "if I had money to invest in stocks I would invest on this business". This and wifi connectivity on planes. Imagine if cell phones were legit on planes, then this equipment would be the hottest item on the market.

I thought 'man! what a possibility'. This certainly was a possibility. Everybody would use cell phones in planes in the future and what is more valuable than noise reduction ear phones to listen clearly. I am a bit skeptical about the noise pollution though (of course there will be cell, no-cell seats, like it is there for smoking in restaurants) Then our discussion veered towards why cell phones weren't allowed on plane. The whole table joined in the conversation and I learned a few things. Airlines don't care if you have cell phones switched on or off. In fact they would check 300 times as much as they do now if cell phones were actually a threat. I diligently switch off my phone but most people forget to switch off their phones too. So it is not a big deal. It is the cell phone manufacturers who don't want this. The cell towers which transmit information between cell phones are the problem. Since the plane travels so fast above the air, the cell phone moves from one area to another. It traverses towers so fast that it screws up their nervous system.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Philosophy-1: Time

Note: My apologies to people who really know this stuff. Please treat me as a kindergarten student who is just beginning to sort things. There is no better place to throw 'abstract thoughts' than this blog or maybe I am just too crazy

After 3-4 years of arbitrary web browsing, many years of idle chit chat and rotating thoughts several times in the mind, I have this sudden urge to write something philosophical. I have wondered, as many have before me about the concept of time, God, Karma and the whole over-arching umbrella of things being connected. In my first job in a research and development lab, I was assigned to develop a feature on the I/O module of an operating system. I was struggling to understand some concept and so approached a colleague Rob, who I thought was a very profound kind of guy. In the middle of the conversation, I told him it was nice that I had been assigned this module and that it was a larger plan to make me strong in IO module. He was amused and said " I have long since given up assuming that things actually are minor cogs and part of a larger plan. Things happen in random, people make decisions based on instant requirements and if it has relevance to something larger it is merely a coincidence" It turned out that was true. that was the first and last project for me in IO.

Time: If not for time everything would happen at once. B.R.Chopra's greatest stroke of genius was the conception of 'Time' as the master narrator. If somebody was totally qualified to narrate the history of the world, evolution and the expansion of the universe, there is no better choice than Mr.Time to narrate it. I have always been intrigued by our capacity to perceive time. For example, our perception has granularity associated with it. This is hard to explain but I'll try. We don't experience microseconds, we can't say "I felt/spent 1 microsecond of pain or happiness" like we can say "I experienced a week, an hour, a month, a year of pain or happiness". The quantum of time needs to be large enough for us to perceive it. If time was X-axis then the scale has to be in units of seconds for us to be able to plot events against time. Events corresponding to microseconds would form subset of the larger event that spanned seconds. This makes me wonder if that scale was a tunable parameter. Is this scale different for different beings? For example (this is just a hypothetical situation)- Maybe (and I can't stress more on the maybe part) dinosaurs are slow because they can't perceive 'seconds'? They can only see and do events in chunks of 'minutes'. So if they begin to do something, in the process of doing that thing, they would only see events at one minute intervals instead of 1-2 second intervals that we humans can. So the quickest they think they can do anything is a minute.

What if human beings in an another age (past or future) could perceive events separated by microseconds? Would that make them do super human things? If you can expand the X-axis Time scale to accommodate microseconds, would you be able to do more things in a second than today's human beings? And by virtue of that would you appear faster to the normal human being and therefore be regarded as super human? Are these the capacities that Rama, Bhima or Arjuna had? Was there a time when a mixture of people who perceived times in different chunks of granularity existed? And to people like us, did those faster human beings appear like demi-gods or super humans worthy of praise?

If you plot Time in X-axis and draw events along time. If every centimeter in the graph represented 1000 years, then the mughal invasion, British rule and the independence would be a spec on a dot in the graph. If you increase scale to 500, 100, 10 years then you would be able to plot events with better clarity. The things that intrigues me is that can you make 1cm in the graph as 1 nano second and plot events? Yes! you would plot many meaningless events but what if you can do and thereby plot meaningful events?

Is perception of time a tunable parameter?

To be continued...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Dreams Nightmares and Insomnia

I wasn't able to sleep for 2 nights in a row. I am not sure why? The sudden adrenalin rush after school started is probably the reason. But what he said in The Fight Club is true. If you don't sleep the night the next day your are neither asleep nor awake. Its kind of a blurry world out there.

The entire night I had the one single conversation (that I had earlier) looped over and over in my mind. For 6 hours my mind replayed some inane conversation I had during the day. I could not stop it. I tried to think of some cricket match I saw, thought about the hanuman story my grandma told me. All this failed to distract me. I returned back to have that conversation in many different ways.

The second night a similar thing happened. Its like at 10:30 when you go to sleep, if a thought strikes you that you won't get sleep today, you most probably won't. The thought is like a weather warning that you get before it happens. So yesterday was terrible in terms of my alertness. I was barely conscious of where I was standing.

Finally managed to sleep yesterday night. But it was weird. I got my exam dreams again. I was in a state, where I had to write my 12 std (grade) exams again. In my dream I had 2 weeks to go for that. Although everybody around me is worried and are constantly studying (co-students are people from work, uncles, arbitrary people), I am not. But I am afraid. Just that I don't do anything about it I don't know why. I have chemistry subject that much I remember, then I have my 8th semester switching circuit theory exam and then I have a Hindi exam. When I got up in the morning today, I got up with some other arbitrary conversation looped back in my head.

Maybe there is some truth to saying prayers before we sleep and immediately after getting up. It can have a soporific (?) effect.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Movie Review: Jillunu One Love

Is it 'Jillunu' Oru Kaahdal or 'Sillunu' Oru Kaadhal? It is the latter because the former is not a Tamizh name.

I like this move by Tamizh Nadu government to provide tax breaks on movies that have Tamizh names. It lets economics take over things. But who defines Tamizh? Why is 'J' not tamizh? Will sanani get saladosam or will courts give sameen to murder accused in sallikattu? This is taking language patriotism to a ridiculous extent. I have known for some time what words form part of language and what don't but this triggered off that old irritation I had with language guardians of Tamizh Nadu.

I agree Prakrit (and so Hindi) is unnecessarily excessive with its granularity of alphabets and goes overboard in representing cosmetic pronunciations like kh, jh etc (and has reverse incorporated these stupid sounds into English and made life miserable). But at least it covers all the regular sounds that phonetics cover. If I can pronunce anything, I can readily represent most of whatever babble I pronunce, in either Hindi or English. Tamizh on the other hand is in denial about basic sounds like sh, ha, j. To me it violates what language script is all about - in following the ability of humans to pronounce stuff. In some warped effort to preserve one of the oldest languages, I think they have stopped its evolution. What the hell do they mean when they say 'j' is not a tamizh word? When you enter TN, will that sound go away? When you try saying 'j' will your throat choke. You can say it right? 'j' - said it right? So have a script to represent it. I can't imagine what hell science students in Tamizh medium go through. And all these guardians can't even say 'zh' properly.

Anyway about the movie. Bad Movie. I hate love stories of any kind. I watched 15 minutes of that Sharukh khan/kajol movie and ran away tearing my hair apart. I hate family sentiment movies, mushy mushy movies. I have seen enough to last 5 life times and cant see one more love story. I sort of know the producer Gnanavel. Have hung out with him. We have talked movies (Babs a regular here is much more closer to him). I would be sorry if in some context Gnanavel reads this (I am pretty sure he won't) post and finds me bashing this movie. But I think it is a poorly written screenplay. Fluff is good but it should be one layer above good screenplay. This screenplay which starts the thread from Jyotika Point of View (POV) and takes us to a neutral POV and then gives a Surya POV and then a Jyotika POV has wasted enormous time in masala crap. The 1 day between Surya and Bhoomika is what this movie is all about and that should not have be reserved until the last 20 minutes of the movie. It drags, its bores us to death sometimes, too much crying, which I hate. I don't think men cry so much. Women cry a lot, I agree :-)

I also have to say I found the acting mediocre. The lead trio was okay. I dont think that meesaikaran could have given birth to Jyotika. Too much of a strech. Ithellam kojam over. There is this new comedian that I keep seeing, Santhanam. He is a riot and mainly because of the dialogs. The 'nair kadai paruppu vegalai' joke literally made me fall out of the seat. Just one thing - his intonation or pitch is always the same - maybe he needs to change that.

The movie does have some sound basis. Almost everybody has seen real life characters such as this (although hiding the old marriage pumpkin inside the new marriage rice is oooovar). In this case, one member of the couple, has a past that he wants to hide and he lies about it. The director through Jyotika has made no moral judgement on Surya because of this. It is taken as a given that lying is logical. I think nowadays people would not make a 'moral issue' over it but instead endorse it. That he loved another person before and lied about it to his wife is practical. In finanncial terms :-) - its sunk cost. No point in even discussing it. This is the only thing that was 'okkkay' in this movie.

The songs I liked in the descending order of super'ness

1. NewYork (Very good picturization)
2. Machakaari & Maaricham (the songs are merged to 1 song in this movie.. poor picturizatin)
3. Munbe Vaa (nowadays I don't like melody songs)
4. Gummi Adi
5. Jillunu

I feel totally validated about my thoughts on VV after watching this movie. it is so above average because movies like SOK keep the average low.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Six Degrees of Separation

note: some errors inherent because i am typing this in one go.

Alice xyz invented the telephone. She remains Alice xyz and not Graham Bell because Graham Bell got to the patent office 4 days before she did. Union Pacific is not AT&T because they refused to buy the telephone patent (because they thought the telegraph would never need to be replaced) and made Bell start AT&T. Patents and their value are interesting and I am thrilled enough to share something about them in my blog.

This was an interesting concept proposed by Harvard based professor that 2 complete strangers are connected to each other by 6 people or less. In that, if 2 strangers met and thoroughly analysed every person they knew and in-turn every person known to people they know and so on... the 2 would be connected before the 6th level.

This is alleged to be the founding or the fundamental structure of Orkut, My Spaces etc. The concept of having friends and knowing friend's friends and so on. After a comprehensive list is built only 6 links will separate 2 complete strangers.

The reason I am bringing this up is that this idea was not patented (read as enforced). I was surprised to know that 2 people ( owners of Linked In and Tribe) have bought the patent for $700,000 from Youth Stream. They later tried to convince another company called Friendster to buy this patent and start enforcing it. If it is enforced the Orkut's and My Space folks will have to pay royalties and other infringement related money to Friendster. This is where the nexus of strategy, law and finance comes in. There of course will be companies who specialize in social networking will claim that they are based on a mutant of the patent (For example Orkut and Visible Path have levels of friendships and not a binary friend/n0-friend status) will try and wiggle out of it on a legal technicality. Friendster, however, is still not be sure of buying this patent because its not sure how much royalties it can claim from this patent and whether this patent is enforceable at all. Only when the NPV of future royalties exceed the cost of the patent will this ticking time bomb patent be bought and enforced. In other words is it big enough to be worth it. To find that you need to do a market study and analyze the exact market size and revenue opportunities of this social networking concept.

A very interesting case study on the value of intellectual property. Last heard the patent is still up for sale and the 2 owners have ditched it and one of them joined Paypal and later eBay.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Back to School - II

So school has begun. Its Autumn and I have a lot to look forward to. As usual I had my dose of I-am-a-silly-absent-minded-ass moment. I have taken a Valuation class this semester and am pretty excited about the course. First class of the semester, I went and sat in the classroom and the professor gave handouts for the first class and the homework. I sat there with my eyes out of their sockets at the homework handout. First homework was due this Friday. This completely did not fit in with my 'i wanna take it light' extravaganza. The class began and the professor said "in case some students are not aware, this is the 'Options and Futures' class..." within micro seconds, I sheepishly walked out of the room.
The hustle and bustle for the first few days in school is something that excites me and something that I'll maybe miss the most after school. Bidding for lockers, course notes, knowing how a course grading works, the nature of the professor, does he cold call - All these are teeny weeny parts of the B School experience that I have come to enjoy a lot.
Speaking of cold calling, I think Marketing Professors cold call the maximum followed closely by Strategy professors. I am particularly looking forward to a Strategic Marketing class by a popular professor. Mainly because he is a serial entrepreneur and casually mentioned that he started 9 companies "one went kaput 3 hmm's, 3 yeah's and 2 wow's". I wanted to retort that I once saw 9 DVDs in a weekend but did not want to discourage the professor :-) He seems to be extremely sharp and has promised a lot of cold calling this semester. I am pretty sure I will get called the first day. I am also taking Intellectual property & Competitive Strategy (Strat) and Advanced Competitive Tactics (Economics) classes. Learned some interesting trivia and will post about it some time in the future.
The second year fall semester is supposed to be the most challenging semester in the B-School experience. I have been fairly decent in managing time with this blog, have made this blog transparent to the craziness of personal time availability and not boring the readers with 'breaks' and 'hibernation' messages. But I foresee a period of infrequent updates and incoherent posts. Such is life.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Interview: "I am funny" insists (begs) Why. Jee. Magendaran

Kabali Times caught up with yesteryear theater "actor" "comedian" Y.G.Mahendran for a tete-tete-te (er...) te.

Kabali Times: Hello Y.G! How are you doing?
YGM: I am doing. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ROTFL. That was a superb joke no. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
YGM: ha ha ha ha. Dont you think my joke was funny.
Kabali: ????
YGM: Well. I said, I am 'doing'. It was a joke. He he.. ha ha..
Kabali: I see that you have not changed a lot over the years. Don't you think you have a strong resemblance with Krish Srikkanth in terms of the clarity of your expression and delivery.
YGM: Thank you. It came naturally to me. I call it talent. ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha. did you see that joke talent. ha ha ha ha.
Kabali: Sir! Please it was not a compliment. At least have some basic level of intelligence to know when you are insulted. Thank you.
YGM: he he ... ha ha..
Kabali: We have a burning question, we'd like to ask you. Everybody in the country wants to know the answer to this.
YGM: So it is a matter of national importance.(laughs even more) Very good then ask.
Kabali: Before I ask this question. Can you answer a few background questions
YGM: I will answer backgound okay. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Kabali: ok...ay. sigh... How many movies have you acted?
YGM: Around 70 movies.
Kabali: How many stage shows have you done?
YGM: Around 20+
Kabali: How many TV dramas have you done?
YGM: around 3 or 4.
Kabali: Are you a comedy actor?
YGM: Why are you asking this. Weren't people rolling on the floor in laughter when I cracked those jokes at the beginning of the interview.
Kabali: Which people?
YGM: The thousands who are thronging to catch this interview live.
Kabali: Your mom is a retired principal. She has to love you out of compulsion. Even she wont watch it. The school principal may use this interview as a punishment for students. Seriously! Now I'll ask the burning question.
YGM: mmm...Go ahead.
Kabali: In the 70 movies, 20 dramas and 4 TV series, that you have participated as a "comedy" actor, can you tell us if you have cracked one, teeny weeny, single genuine joke that made at least one person even think of laughing.
YGM: What do you mean? My work has been enormously funny.
Kabali: Your work. Listen to me carefully. In all these 20 years, do people remember you for a single joke. Have you made anyone laugh at your joke instead of at you? Has anybody ever laughed, recalled or remembered a single joke that you have made in your entire career.
YGM: There are so many jokes. what do you mean? I was a successful comedy career.
Kabali: One joke please. Tell us that.
YGM: How about the one in Sakala-kala-vallavan.
Kabali: What joke?
YGM: The one where I wash the buffalo.
Kabali: Sigh... I couldnt distinguish you and the buffalo. I thought 2 of them were having sex. Dude! did you get those movie chances because you were related to Rajinikanth.
YGM: No.... my artistic intelligence and creativity got me those roles. In all speheres of life I have applied these attributes of mine.
Kabali: Is this the same crap you apply in your school when you unnecessarily intervene there.
YGM: Many students owe their success to me. Jai Hind.
Kabali: That ladies and gentlemen concludes the interview with India's most unfunny comedian. No one, I repeat no one has accomplished what YGM has done. He has managed 3 decades of comedy career that has not been marred by a single joke. Even Sidhu has spoken sense.. well actually not.. but you get the scale now. Not even by accident has he appeared funny. No mean achievement.